Dancing on a Star

Dancing on a Star    Chapter 11

I awoke the next morning with Jeff spooned against my body. My cock was hard as it pressed against his ass. He stirred slightly and snuggled against me more forcefully. For a brief second, I wondered what he would do if I attempted to penetrate him. Instead, I scooted away from him, carefully got out of bed and headed across the hall to the bathroom.

When I returned, Jeff was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me to return. He smiled and said, “Good morning, Jack. Did you sleep well?”

I could feel my face redden as I recalled what we had done the previous night. I still couldn’t believe that I had sex with a boy- well, actually two boys. If there was any doubt in my mind that I was gay, last night proved that I was. I could no longer try to convince myself that I wasn’t.

I walked across the room and sat beside Jeff. “I don’t know what to feel,” I confessed. “I know I’m gay, and one part of me tells me that it’s okay. But then I think about how others are going to react, then I try to tell myself that I don’t want to be.”

Jeff took my hand and squeezed it tightly. “Welcome to the gay world,” he said. “What you’re feeling right now is what every gay boy goes through. I’ve been there, so has Tracy. All of us experience it.”

I gave him a puzzled look. “I’m not sure I’m following you, Jeff.”

He smiled and assured me, “Last night you accepted the fact you are gay.” He giggled and added, “I’m glad I was a part of it.” I nudged him in his side and smiled.

 “Me, too,” I responded.

His smile faded. “Now, today, you have to decide what you’re going to do with it.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can go back to like you were yesterday morning,” he stated. “You can be the old Jack who goes around trying to deny who he is.” I stared into his eyes as he spoke. “Or you can say to hell with the world. I’m who I am, and anyone who can’t accept that, then screw it.”

I shook my head. “You make it sound so easy,” I responded worriedly. “I’m not strong like you and Tracy.”

I gave Jeff a puzzled look when he started laughing. “Easy? Do you really think it’s easy for us?”

“I guess,” I replied. “You guys seem so sure about who you are.”

Jeff reached over and gripped my hand. “It’s not going to be easy, Jack. I’m not going to lie to you. You’ll never be sure how people are going to react. Some people may say they don’t have a problem, but there will always be that doubt in the back of your mind. Your friends may turn against you, but not because they don’t like you anymore. They just won’t know how to react around you. The only people who will truly understand are other gays and lesbians.

I rose from the bed and started pacing around. “I knew this was going to happen,” I said sadly. “I knew once I came out, then I’d lose everything.” I looked at Jeff and stated, “Next thing you know I'll be wearing a dress.”

He stared at me before he fell back on the bed and laughed uproariously. When he caught is breath, he sat up and looked at me. “Wear a dress? Where in the hell did that come from?”

I sat down beside him. "I don't know. I've seen some guys wearing dresses.” I was thinking of the Ru Paul show I watched. 

My face reddened as he looked at me and laughed. “Jack,” he assured me as he took my hand and held it. “Being gay doesn’t change you. You’re who you always were. You’re the same person today who you were yesterday.”

“So, I don’t have to wear a dress?”

Jeff giggled and asked, “Did you wear a dress yesterday?”

“Of course not.”

He squeezed my hand and assured me, “Then you won’t have to wear one today.” He giggled and added, “If you do feel like wearing one, we can go to my mother’s closet and see if she has anything that will fit you.”

Í smiled and responded, “I’m okay.   

Just then, Jeff’s stomach started to growl. He grabbed it and announced, “I’m hungry.” A devilish look appeared on his face as he added, “Sex always makes me hungry.” We quickly dressed and then headed to the kitchen for breakfast.

Jeff’s mother was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She is small and petite like Jeff. He also inherited her bright blue eyes. I found it strange that she didn’t question who I was. But then, I figured Jeff’s dad had probably informed her why I had spent the night in their home.

Since it was Saturday morning, we didn’t have to hurry to school. We sat at the counter and watched her make French toast in a skillet. Occasionally, Jeff would look over at me and giggle. I knew he was remembering what we had done the previous night.

A new thought suddenly struck me. What if Jeff really liked me? He said he had had a crush on me for several years. Only yesterday I admitted that I was gay. I surely wasn’t ready yet to have a boyfriend. And even though I enjoyed it with Jeff and Tracy, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have sex again. I had let my guard down last night. I was mad at my mother for the way she acted toward Tracy. I let him suck me to get revenge for her actions.

With Jeff, it was nice. He seemed to really want me, and I guess I was flattered. I enjoyed what we did, but I’m not sure I’m ready to do it again so soon. At least by having sex with them, there was no doubt in my mind I was gay. However, right now I don’t want to commit to anyone. I’m still finding my way and having a boyfriend might confuse things. I might rush into something I would later regret.

As if he read my mind, Jeff looked over and asked if I was alright. “Is everything okay,” he asked worriedly. I smiled and assured him I was. I would have to wait until later to tell him how I was feeling. I just hope that I don’t hurt his feeling when I do.

Jeff’s father strolled into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. It was obvious he had just crawled out of bed. His hair was disheveled, and he had a morning beard. He looked at us and smiled. “How did you sleep, Jack?”

I tried not to look embarrassed, but I know my face started to blush. “Fine, Sir,” I responded as I thought about my mouth around his son’s dick.

“Good,” he replied as he grabbed the morning newspaper and began reading it. I looked over at Jeff when he started to giggle. I know he was thinking the same thing as I was.

As we were eating, Jeff’s cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and said, “It’s Tracy.” He then got up from the counter and left the room. He returned a couple of minutes later.

He sat down and informed me, “He wants us to come over to his house after we eat.”

I gave a skeptical look and asked, “Why?”

He shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Dunno.” I didn’t believe him because Tracy wouldn’t have asked us to visit him without giving Jeff a reason. I assumed he probably didn’t want to say anything with his mother and father so near.

After eating, we returned to his room. As soon as we sat on the bed, Jeff said, “Tracy wants us to come over to his house. He says he has something he wants tell us.”

“What?”

“He didn’t say,” responded Jeff. “He just said he has something he wants to tell us. He really sounded excited when he called.” He leaned over and kissed me. He gave me a puzzled look when I pulled away.

“What’s wrong, Jack?” he asked worriedly.

I rose from the bed and started pacing around. I stopped in front of him and looked down. “I just think we’re moving too fast,” I responded. “I like what we did and all, but…” I turned and started pacing around the room.

I didn’t know how to tell him I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, not yet at least. Maybe Jeff could be that someone special someday, but right now I wasn’t ready to commit to someone.

He rose, came around and placed his arms around me. He then kissed me gently on the neck. “It’s okay, Jack. I understand.” He then took my hand and led me back over to the bed. Once we were seated, he turned towards me.

He gently squeezed my hand. “I’m not asking you for anything,” he smiled. “I’ve been battling these thoughts for a year.”

I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What thoughts?”

“Love,” he replied.

“What do you mean?”

“I know what you’re thinking,” he responded. “You think just because I told you I had a crush on you, and then last night we had sex, that we are boyfriends.”

“Isn’t that what you want?”

He giggled and replied, “I would love you to be my boy and friend.” He stressed the word ‘and.’

“I don’t understand.”

He giggled and said, “What if I put it another way. I want you as just a friend with benefits.”

I gave him a puzzled look and confessed, “I don’t know what that means.”

He started laughing again. “It means, I’m not looking for a boyfriend right now. We’re only sixteen. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I really don’t want to be tied down right now to one guy.” I laughed when he started acting like a bird. “Right now, I just want to fly like a bird.” He leaned in and kissed me quickly. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yeah,” I giggled as I reached over and grabbed his crotch. “It means we can mess around and just be friends.”

He winked, grabbed my crotch and replied, “Bingo.” He snaked his hands into my shorts and said, “I want to be your friend right now.”

I laughed, snaked my hands inside his shorts and said, “Me, too.” A half hour later, we were heading out the door to visit Tracy.

As we walked down the sidewalk to Tracy’s house, I looked across the street and noticed my sister’s car in the driveway. I then remembered my mother mentioning that she was visiting from college this weekend. I also remembered that she said I would have to give up my room to a boy she was bringing with her. It wasn’t clear if he was her boyfriend.

I kept looking at the kitchen window to see if my mother saw me. I tried to hide from her by walking closely beside Jeff. The last thing I needed was for her to see me and come barging over to the Craft home like she did the day before.

Mrs. Craft let us in and informed us that Tracy was in his bedroom. We could hear music coming from upstairs. “He must be dancing,” she said. We headed upstairs. The door was open, and Jeff and I watched Tracy dancing before the mirror. His eyes were closed, so he didn’t notice us.

“He’s good,” whispered Jeff in my ear.

I replied, “Yeah, he is.” We continued to watch him until he final turned, opened his eyes and saw us at the door.

He giggled, grabbed the thin material of his shorts asked, “Like what you see.”

“Idiot,” laughed Jeff as he approached Tracy. It surprised me when they kissed. Jeff noticed the look on my face, walked over to me and gave me a kiss. “You’re not the only one I have a crush on,” he said.

Tracy gave me a sad look and asked, “Don’t I get a kiss?” I smiled as I walked over and kissed him.

“Okay, enough of the drama,” laughed Tracy. His face lit up with excitement. He grabbed our hands and pulled us over to the bed. “Sit down, Guys,” he ordered. “I have some great news!”

Jeff asked, “What?”

“You’re not going to believe this,” remarked Tracy excitedly. “I’m going to be dancing the role of the prince in The Nutcracker!”

“Wow!” I exclaimed. “Isn’t that your big dream?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “I’ve always dreamed of dancing the role of the cavalier.” He went on to explain how he had gone downtown after he left us the night before to audition for the role. He said that five other guys auditioned, and they were very good. He felt that he didn’t have a chance since he was much younger than the others. However, after the rehearsals, the choreographer asked him to remain as the others left. She then told him that he was going to be cast for the starring role.

“I can’t believe it!” he said excitedly as he rose from the bed and started dancing around the room. Jeff and I watched as he pretending to be dancing with someone.

I finally asked, “What’s that you’re doing?”

“The pas de deux,” he replied. “It’s one of the most famous dances in the world. I can’t wait to perform it onstage.”

“Do you dance it alone?” asked Jeff.

“No,” explained Tracy. “The pas de deux means dance for two. I’ll be dancing it with a girl. Six girls auditioned for the role, so I won’t know who I’ll be dancing it with.”

Jeff rose and hugged Tracy. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Me, too,” I said as I got up and hugged him also.

He grabbed our hands and said excitedly. “I want you guys to be there.”

Jeff kissed him and replied, “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He looked at me and I nodded my head.

We spent the next fifteen minutes watching Tracy dance. He explained to us some of the difficult moves that he would be dancing as the role of the Prince. He also explained what the Nutcracker was all about. When he finished, Jeff and I were excited about watching him perform.

He grabbed our hands and pulled us from the bed. “Come on, Guys. I’m going to show you how to dance.” We giggled as he tried to get us to do what he called a plié and a pirouette. I kept losing my balance, and Jeff tumbled to the ground when Tracy held him and tried to get him to turn.

Jeff put his hands on his sides and grumbled, “You make it look so easy. This is really hard to do.”

Tracy laughed and replied, “I’ve been practicing for years. It is easy for me.”

Mrs. Craft knocked softly on the door before opening it and peering inside. “Sorry to bother you,” she looked over at me, “but Jack, there’s someone downstairs who wants to see you.”

I asked bitterly, “Is it my mother?” I assumed she had come over to drag me home.

“No, Dear,” she replied. “It’s not your mother.” Reluctantly, I headed downstairs. I figured my father would be waiting for me.

“Sis!” I shouted excitedly when I saw Stephanie standing in the middle of the living room. I hadn’t seen her since she left for college two months earlier. We hugged each other tightly.

She pushed me away and stared at me. “Just look at you,” she said. “I left behind a boy, and I return to a man.”

I giggled and replied, “Yeah, well. What can I say?” She laughed and hugged me again.

Stephanie and I had always been close, even when we were young. She was two years older than me, but we grew up like twins. We never fought like most brothers and sisters do. I cried for two days after she left for college.

She turned and grabbed the hand of a man who had been standing back watching us. In my excitement of seeing my sister, I hadn’t noticed him. “Jack,” she said as she pulled him towards me. “I want you to meet Darren. Darren is a friend of mine at school.”

I timidly shook his hand. I was nervous because I found him extremely attractive. He was tall and handsome. His brown hair was cut short. He had brown eyes, and it looked like he hadn’t shaved for several days. He was taller than me, and very slim. He had the build of a swimmer on our swim team. I was instantly in love!

I looked at Stephanie and then back at Darren. An overwhelming sadness engulfed me. Although, I’m not sure it was sadness or jealously.

“Darren,” she explained, “is a music major.” I wondered how my sister knew him because the last time we talked she was going to major in economics. “He’s really talented,” she continued. “He can play guitar, drums, clarinet, piano.” She started laughing, grabbed his hand and said admiringly, “I don’t think there’s an instrument he doesn’t play.”

I found it sexy when he began to blush. “I can’t play a tuba.” He started laughing and added, “Hell. The thing’s too damn heavy.”

Just then, Tracy and Jeff came bounding downstairs. They stopped suddenly when they noticed Stephanie and Darren. Jeff took one look at Darren, then turned to Tracy and softly muttered, “Holy shit!”

I giggled as I introduced my friends to my sister and Darren. Jeff wouldn’t stop staring at Darren, and he held his hand just a little too long when they shook. I pulled him away, leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Stop it, Jeff.” He stepped back and started giggling.

Stephanie looked around the room and asked, “Are you guys hungry?” We glanced at one another and nodded our heads. I looked at the clock on the wall, and it was almost noon. Stephanie gripped Darren’s hand and held it. Jeff glanced quickly at me and frowned. We both thought the same thing- he’s my sister’s boyfriend.

“I’m famished,” announced my sister. “We left school early, and we didn’t get a chance to eat.” She pulled Darren towards the door. “We’ll go get the car, and you guys can come out when we pull into the driveway. I thought it was rather strange that she didn’t suggest we go across the street to her car instead of going to the trouble of driving across the street. Then it hit me- she didn’t want me to confront my mother. Mom must have said something to her about me and Tracy.

As soon as she closed the door, Jeff tightly gripped my arm. “Jesus, Jack! Who the hell is he? He’s hot!”

“Yeah,” exclaimed Tracy. “He’s a stud!”

I started laughing uncontrollably at the reaction of my friends. “Forget it, Guys,” I responded. “It looks like he’s my sister’s boyfriend.”

We laughed when Jeff replied, “I’ll claw her eyes out.”

Tracy looked at me and said, “I don’t think he’s your sister’s boyfriend.”

I asked, “What? You saw them holding hands.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” he replied. “I think he’s gay.”

“What!” Jeff squealed excitedly. “Gay? Why do you think he’s gay?”

Tracy shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m just getting a gay vibe from him.” My face reddened when he looked over at me and added, “Just like I got from you, Jack, when we first met.”

“I don’t think he’s gay,” responded Jeff. “He’s too hot to be gay. He just oozes masculinity.”

I started laughing again. “Oozes masculinity? Where did you get that?” Jeff giggled and shrugged his shoulders.

“He’s gay,” stated Tracy confidently. “Trust me.”

Jeff replied, “He’s not.”

“Bet?” challenged Tracy. “Ten bucks says he’s gay.”

“Bet,” agreed Jeff as he shook Tracy’s hand. He looked at me and said, “You’re my witness when he has to pay me ten bucks.” We were laughing as he left the house. My sister and Darren were waiting in the car for us.

As Jeff, Tracy and I piled into the backseat of my sister’s Toyota, I noticed Jimmy coming down the sidewalk dribbling a basketball. My sister slowed down and asked, “Isn’t that Jimmy?” She turned and looked at me. “You want me to pick him up? He can probably cram into the backseat?”

“No, Steph,” I replied. “It’s okay.”

When we passed him, I looked out the window, and he flipped me off.