“I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” I cried into my pillow. I was so mad; I didn’t know what to do. He told me that he had never had sex with a girl, and now he was downstairs fucking my sister! I wanted to go downstairs and stop them, but I couldn’t. There would be a terrible scene. Stacy would surely explode, and I’m not sure how Craig would react.
I felt like he was doing it on purpose. He knew I would see them. He probably thought I hadn’t arrived home, and that I would find them naked in the family room when I did. I think it surprised him that I was already home.
“I hate him!” I cried softly. For a brief moment, I thought that perhaps we could make it work between us. We could meet secretly, and no one would ever have to know. But then he saw me with Blake. Now, he’s in the family room fucking my sister to pay me back. I know that is what he is doing. He’s getting revenge. He didn’t even give me a chance to explain.
I’m done! I’ve had it! I got up from bed, put on my shoes and headed downstairs. I wasn’t going to confront Craig. I just didn’t feel that I could be in the same house knowing what was going on in the family room. When I left my room, I slammed the door shut. I stomped down the stairs and left through the front door without even looking into the family room.
“I hope Stacy gets pregnant,” I mutter to myself as I get into the car. Craig’s car was parked beside mine. I forcefully opened the door so that my door would put a dent in his car. As I backed out, I saw him and Stacy peeking out from behind the curtain watching me.
I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I drove aimlessly up and down streets for an hour. A police officer pulled up behind me. I was afraid he was going to pull me over and question why I was out so late. When I saw a mini-mart open, I stopped and went inside. I turned and watched the officer pass. I walked around and picked up some chips and a Gatorade out of the cooler. After purchasing them, I returned to the car and nibbled on the chips.
I was still raging mad. I couldn’t believe that Craig was having sex with Stacy. It should have been me. He doesn’t even like my sister. He is just using her for cover. He likes me. I know he does. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have done all the things he did. It angers me to think that he may be enjoying sex with Stacy more than me.
So maybe he isn’t gay after all. He was just using me until he got up the nerve to have sex with a girl. I was probably no more than someone he could practice with until he could get the real thing. And I think I am angrier right now with myself than I am with Craig. I’m angry that I let it happen. I should have been stronger and told him no. However, I didn’t want to. I wanted him to want me. I wanted to give myself completely to him. Now, I’m paying the price for my lustful desires. Chaos has completely surrounded me.
I looked at my watch. It was after one in the morning. I didn’t realize that so much time had passed. By now, Craig must have left Stacy. I slowly headed home. His car wasn’t in the driveway when I returned. There were also no lights on. I entered, locked the door and headed upstairs. When I passed by the family room, I stopped and stared into the room. Tears filled my eyes when I thought about what had happened earlier.
When I reached the top of the stairs, I could hear Stacy talking on the phone. She was probably talking to Maggie. I listened closer when I heard her complain, “He couldn’t even get it hard. The condom kept slipping off.” There was a pause and then Stacy yelled, “I did suck it! It still wouldn’t get hard!” I had to put my hand to my mouth to suppress a laugh. Craig wasn’t able to fuck Stacy!
I went to my room and closed the door. I did a brief dance before I heard Stacy’s door open. Seconds later, she came barging into my room. She stopped before me and yelled, “If you tell Mom, I’ll kill you!”
I innocently replied, “What are you talking about?” Stacy knew that I had seen her and Craig. They had peeked out the window when I drove off.
She reached out and slapped my face. “You know what I’m talking about, Seth! You better not tell Mom!”
My first instinct was to hit her. However, I knew if I did then we would get into a huge fight. Mom’s joke about not wanting to get a call from the police would become a reality. Instead, I walked over to my dresser and removed my pajamas.
“Get out, Stacy,” I ordered. “I’m going to bed.”
“Mother fucker!” she spat as she turned and headed to the door. “I hate you!”
Before slamming the door shut, I shouted, “I hope you get pregnant!” She turned and was going to come back into the room, but I think she was scared because she now knew for certain that I had seen what they were doing. The only thing she didn’t know is that I knew that nothing had actually happened between them.
I went to bed and slept well. Craig couldn’t do anything with Stacy. That means only one thing- he’s gay. He had no trouble getting hard for me. He always approached me with a boner. He stayed hard even after we had sex. So, since he couldn’t even get it hard for Stacy, that means only one thing- he likes gay sex. A little after two in the morning, I had to strip naked and masturbate thinking of the times we had sex. I’m not sure if we will have sex again, but I hope so.
I awoke after ten. When I went downstairs, Stacy was sitting at the counter with Maggie. They stopped talking when I entered the kitchen. Stacy asked angrily, “Don’t you have somewhere to go?”
I poured some cereal and milk into a bowl of Fruit Loops and replied, “Nope.” I sat at the counter with a smirk on my face.
“Fucker,” hissed Stacy as she left the kitchen with Maggie trailing her. I laughed when I heard her slam her bedroom door shut.
It is Saturday, and the dance will be in a few hours. I am to meet Roni at eight outside the gymnasium where the dance is being held. I am curious if Stacy will be going with Craig after what happened last night. I’m sure she will. Stacy is too proud to let something like that break them up. If word got out, then the joke would be that she was too ugly for Craig to get a hard on. Besides, they had been dating for months without sex. I’m not sure why she had agreed to do it last night. Craig must have been very forceful. He wanted revenge. It’s ironic that he couldn’t go through with it. I’m sure he’s really embarrassed about what happened. He’ll do anything for Stacy as long as she doesn’t tell anyone. However, Maggie knows. I’m not sure if she can keep that secret very long.
I was surprised when Roni called me. When I answered, she begged me to come to her house to talk about something very important. When I asked her what, she just said it was important, and if I could come right away. I told her I would, and then I hung up. I knew what she wanted. Craig tells Roni everything. He probably told her what happened last night. I’m not sure what good it will do for us to talk about it. This is something that Stacy and Craig are going to have to deal with.
Roni was waiting outside when I arrived. She ran to the car, jumped in and said, “We can’t talk here. My mother’s home. Let’s go to the mall.” On the way, I tried to get her to talk, but she insisted we wait. When we arrived, I followed her to the food court. She told me to wait at a table while she ordered something at Cheryl’s Cookies. She returned a few minutes later with two hot chocolates and a half dozen assorted cookies.
“Here,” she said as she placed the drink and cookies in front of me. I reached for the bag and pulled out a chocolate chip cookie. Roni reached in and grabbed a buttercream cookie. She nibbled on her cookie and stared at me.
“What?” I asked nervously. I hadn’t done anything wrong, so I didn’t know why she was staring at me.
She asked, “How much do you know?”
“Don’t screw around with me, Seth,” she said angrily. I looked around to see if anyone could hear our conversation. Since it was still early, the food court was almost empty. “Do you know what happened last night?”
I replied, “Not much.”
She stated angrily, “Craig’s fucked up over what happened.”
“That’s not what I heard,” I giggled.
“Then you do know?”
“I heard Stacy talking to Maggie,” I confessed. “She’s really upset.”
Tears welled up in Roni’s eyes. “Do you know what something like this is going to do to Craig? He’ll be ruined if Stacy tells others what happened. He called me last night when he got home. He’s talking about killing himself.”
“Shit,” I hissed as tears formed in my eyes. I had been through a lot the past few weeks, but I guess it is nothing like what Craig has. At least I know that I am gay. I’m not ashamed of it. I just want to keep it a secret until I’m ready to come out. However, a boy like Craig can’t admit that he’s gay. He’s put on a show for so many years that everyone believes it. All the guys admire him. If they find out that he couldn’t get hard for a girl, it would be devasting for him. It wouldn’t take long for people to start assuming he’s gay.
Roni reached over and held my hand. “You have to talk to him, Seth. You’re the only one who understands what he’s going through. If you don’t, then I’m afraid…” she dropped her head to the table and began sobbing uncontrollably.
“What am I going to say?” I asked as my eyes filled with tears. “I’m as confused as Craig. I don’t see how this can possibly end well.”
She insisted, “We have to figure out a way.” She pulled out her phone and called Craig. After several rings, she shook her head sadly. “He’s not answering.”
“Maybe he’s still asleep,” I suggested. I looked at the time on my phone. It was only 10:40. I’ve slept past that time many times on a Saturday.
Roni pleaded, “Why don’t you go to his house and talk to him?”
“I can’t do that,” I replied. “Besides, I’m probably the last person he wants to see right now.”
She stood and said, “I can’t leave him like this. I’m going over to his house and see if he’ll talk to me.” She started to walk away.
“Wait up,” I called out. I hurried to walk beside her. “What about tonight?”
“I almost forgot about the dance,” she replied. “I’ll meet you outside the gym at eight.” She kissed me on the cheek and then hurried out of the mall exit.
As I was walking to my car, a silver Honda honked and pulled up beside me. It was Ty. “Hi, Seth,” he said cheerfully. “What are you doing here?” I leaned down and told him I had just met someone. He told me to wait at the entrance while he parked his car. A few minutes later, he walked up with a smile on his face.
I asked, “What are you doing here?” Ty explained that he wanted to buy Maryanne a corsage to wear to the dance.”
He grabbed my arm and led me away. “You can help me,” he insisted. I didn’t resist. I always enjoy spending time with Ty. He isn’t filled with problems like all the other people in my life. Ty goes with the flow. Nothing ever seems to bother him. Well except for finding the right color corsage to match Maryanne’s dress. The clerk who waited on him became frustrated because he couldn’t make up his mind. Eventually, she put one inside a box and told him that it would be perfect.
Ty looked at his watch. “How about some lunch?” he asked. Since I had only had one cookie with Roni, I was hungry. I agreed and we walked toward the food court.
Ty asked, “Who did you meet earlier?”
He replied, “You said you met someone when I saw you in the parking lot. Who did you meet?”
“Oh, right,” I replied. “I met up with Roni.” He laughed and mentioned something about getting something for our date.”
“It’s not a date,” I insisted. “Roni has a girlfriend. She asked me to go with her since Cindy can’t, so I said yes.”
“So cavalier,” laughed Ty. He looked at me and smiled. “You’ll never stop being the good guy, will you.”
I replied sadly, “I’m not all that good.”
“Seriously?” he asked. “You’re the nicest person I know. You’d literally give the shirt off your back to a stranger if they asked you for it. Look what you’re doing tonight. You’re taking Roni to the dance. And just this week, you quickly made friends with Blair when he started classes.”
“Blake,” I corrected him. “His name is Blake.”
“Yeah, right,” replied Ty. He quickly looked around, leaned in and asked softly, “Are you guys boyfriends?”
My eyes widened and I shrieked, “What?”
Ty smiled and replied, “It’s okay, Seth. I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just that you two seem really close. I’ve watched you. Blair is the first person I’ve ever seen you react that way to.” Tears seemed to form in his eyes.
“Blake,” I reminded him. I didn’t know how to respond. Ty was almost challenging me to come out to him. He is one of the few people I knew I could trust to tell my secret. Now, he was giving me a chance to.”
I looked away and said, “He’s not my boyfriend.”
Ty giggled and said, “I thought he was the one who gave you the hickey.”
“Blake didn’t give the hickey,” I insisted.
Ty gave me a puzzled look and asked, “If he didn’t, who did? I thought Blair, I mean, Blake gave it to you.”
I pleaded, “Can we talk about something else? I really don’t want to talk about it.”
He smiled and replied, “Sure, Seth.” Tears formed in his eyes again. “If you ever need someone to talk to, you can trust me. I’ll understand.”
It was time for tears to appear in my eyes. I had to wipe them off with my sleeve. “Thanks, Ty.” I reached over and patted his hand. He looked into my eyes and smiled.
So, there it was. I had come out to my best friend, and nothing happened. It seemed so simple. Ty had watched me grow over the years. He probably understood me better than I understood myself. I only wish that I could live up to his expectations. If only he knew that I wasn’t as good as he thinks I am. He would stop being my friend if he really knew the chaos that was around me.
He stood and said that he should go home. He patted the box and said that it should be refrigerated so it wouldn’t wilt. We walked through the mall with our shoulders rubbing occasionally. For a moment, I wished that he was my boyfriend. Life wouldn’t be filled with drama with someone like Ty. He walked me to my car, and he surprised me when he gave me a big hug.
“Thanks for being my friend, Seth. He smiled as I got in the car. I waved as I pulled off.
Stacy wasn’t home when I arrived. I looked into the family room and her bedroom. I assumed she was probably with Maggie. When I looked in her room. I noticed her phone laying on the bed. She must have rushed out of the house without it. Normally, I would never violate someone’s privacy, but Stacy’s phone was too much of a temptation. I walked over to her bathroom to make sure she wasn’t in there. I then hurried over to the bed and picked up the phone. I took it to the window so I could watch the front in case she returned.
I checked her messages. She must have had a hundred between her and Maggie the past couple of days. I was interested in reading the ones from yesterday. I wanted to see what she said about Craig. Most of them expressed disappointment that Craig ‘couldn’t get it up.’ I found it amusing that they had tried for about a half hour to get him hard. I wanted to vomit when Stacy told Maggie how she had tried to suck Craig to get an erection. She complained because her jaws became sore. If only she knew that I didn’t have to do anything. He already had an erection whenever we were together.
Maggie asked her what Craig had said about it. He told Stacy that he had jerked off twice earlier thinking about having sex with her. He said he came so much that he must have drained it. I couldn’t stop laughing. Of course, Stacy was flattered. Maggie told her that was bullshit, but she tended to believe his excuse.
After reading her messages, I went to her photo section. I wish I hadn’t. The first picture was a nude pic of Stacy. She obviously was posing seductively for Craig. I don’t think I will be able to erase that picture from my mind as long as I live. The next four were nude pics of Craig. I instantly became hard. If I had been in my room, I would have masturbated. However, I was afraid to take Stacy’s phone out of her room. I wanted to send the photos to my phone, but I was afraid that Stacy might check her send file. Instead, enlarged the pictures, and took photos with my phone. It wasn’t the best quality, but at least I did have naked pics of Craig that I could enjoy later. I carefully placed the phone back on the bed, checked around the room to make sure that nothing was out of place, and then I headed to my bedroom. I locked my door, stripped naked and enjoyed the naked pictures of Craig.
Afterwards, I fell asleep. I was awakened two hours later when Stacy and Maggie came upstairs. Stacy must have been mad because she slammed her door shut. I peeked out my door before heading across the hall to the bathroom to take a shower. I still had a few hours before the dance, but I didn’t know if I would have to take Stacy somewhere. Sometimes before a date with Craig, she will have me take her to the drugstore to get something at the last minute.
Aunt Marie and Uncle Steve arrived around six o’clock. Aunt Marie had prepared a hamburger casserole at their house, so she didn’t need to use our kitchen to cook. I was glad because I wouldn’t have as many dishes to put in the dishwasher.
Aunt Marie called Stacy for dinner four times before she finally appeared. She was in a bad mood complaining she wasn’t hungry, and she needed to get ready for the dance. She grew very irritable when Aunt Marie told us what she expected. She said our mother had left her instructions which she read off a piece of paper. Mom had already gone over it before she left. Stacy continued to whine and plead to go to her room. Finally, Aunt Marie told her she could go. Stacy huffed and hurried upstairs.
Aunt Marie let out a sigh and sat down. She asked me to sit beside her. Uncle Steve was across the room watching a football game on television. She took my hand and held it. “You have to promise me, Seth,” she pleaded, “that you won’t let anything happen to Stacy tonight.”
“Aunt Marie,” I whined. “I’m not her babysitter.”
“I know, Dear,” she replied as she patted my hand. “But we both know how irresponsible Stacy is. Just keep an eye on her to make sure nothing happens. Also, keep a watchful eye on her boyfriend, Craig. Don’t let him take advantage of your sister tonight. I know how boys can be.”
I had to suppress a laugh. If only she knew that she had nothing to worry about. However, I would have to make sure that Stacy didn’t get in an argument with Craig. I know my sister too well. The first insult out of her mouth would be about his limp dick. After that, I don’t know what would happen next. After assuring Aunt Marie that nothing would happen, I went to my room to get ready for the dance.
Craig was to pick up Stacy at seven-thirty. Aunt Marie went upstairs after dinner to help Stacy get dressed. When she came downstairs, she did look nice. Aunt Marie said she helped Stacy with the final touches with her makeup and hair. I’m not sure what that means. Guys don’t need final touches. We just put on our clothes, brush our hair and smell our armpits. That’s it. No final touches except to adjust ourselves if our underwear is too tight.
Craig was eight minutes late, and Stacy acted like it was an hour. She paced back and forth in front of the window complaining that they would be late for the dance. When he finally arrived, Stacy rushed out the door as Aunt Marie was telling her to have a good time. When she closed the door, she muttered, “I’m glad I don’t have to put up with her every day.”
I giggled and said, “I wish I didn’t have to.” I told her I was leaving, and she kissed me on my cheek. Uncle Steve held up a beer and told me not to do anything he wouldn’t do. Aunt Marie told him to shut up.
On the drive to school, I was extremely nervous. I had this fear that something bad was going to happen. I know I should be looking forward to having a good time, but so much has happened lately. Besides, Craig, Stacy and I would all be in the same place. There would be many students, so I felt confident I could avoid Craig. I would make sure that I stayed with Roni, Ty, Maryanne, Jennifer and Sherman. At least Blake wouldn’t be there.
Roni was waiting outside the gym for me when I arrived. She was really pretty. She usually wears jeans and a sweatshirt to school. I have only seen her in a dress when we were in elementary school. In middle school, she avoided all social events. For eighth grade graduation, she wore pants like the boys did.
“Wow!” I exclaimed as I approached her. “You look really nice.”
She smiled and replied, “You don’t look half bad yourself. You clean up nice.” She leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
I grinned and said, “Be careful. I’m not that kind of boy. I don’t kiss on the first date.
“Not what I heard,” she quipped with a smile. She grabbed my arm and said, “Let’s do this.”
The gym was full of students when we entered. Music was blaring, but no one was dancing. They were in small groups chatting. Several students stopped and giggled when they noticed me and Roni together. I looked around for Ty and Maryanne. I spotted them across the room chatting with another couple. When I approached, they turned. It was Blake and Amber. Blake gave me a wide grin. He wasn’t dressed in a suit like me and the other boys, but he looked really cute. He was wearing a pair of dress slacks and a colorful sweater.
I walked up and said, “Hi. I didn’t think you were coming.”
Blake scowled and replied, “Amber made me. Her date stood her up, and she didn’t want to come alone.”
“I didn’t get stood up,” replied Amber angrily. “Stanley has a bad cold.” Blake looked at me, laughed and mouthed, “She got stood up.”
We chatted for several minutes. Soon, Jennifer and Sherman arrived. Sherman seemed embarrassed because he was with his sister. It didn’t help that they had dressed alike. I felt sorry for him because I know what I would feel like if I had to accompany Stacy to a dance.
Roni said she was thirsty. She pointed off to a corner where refreshments were being served. “I’m going to go get something to drink.”
“Wait,” I said as I stopped her. “I’ll go.” Blake immediately said he would go with me to help bring back the drinks.
As we crossed the gym, Blake looked over and smiled. “You look really nice, Seth.”
I looked over and admired him. “You look nice too.” I leaned in and said, “If we weren’t here, I would kiss you.”
He smiled, gripped my arm and replied, “I’d let you.”
As we turned and headed to the refreshment table, I stopped suddenly. Blake looked over at me. “What’s the matter?” he asked.
I stood staring in fear at Craig. His eyes were narrowed in anger and his fists were clenched as he looked at me and Blake together.
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