All the way to Bobby’s house I wanted to turn back. He could sense my nervousness and kept saying, “It’ll be all right Mark. My dad doesn’t bite.” Then he’d give me a small laugh.
It wasn’t the talk, as much as it was talking to his dad. I guess in the back of my mind I missed not having a father around. I had always told myself it didn’t matter, but I know it did. My own father should be having this talk with me. But that was impossible. He now lived in Florida with ‘the other woman.’
I was only six when he and my mother got a divorce, but I can still hear them shouting at one another. It went on for months. I used to lie in bed and cry myself to sleep at night after hearing them fight. I was too young to understand, but now I realize that my father had been having an affair with his secretary. After working closely together for several years, I guess they fell in love.
My mother took it hard. My father was a lawyer, and she was the reason he’d been able to go to school. They met in college and married after graduation. He wanted to go into law, but they couldn’t afford it. My mother insisted that he follow his dream. Besides having my sister and me, she worked two jobs while he pursued his degree. Once he established himself as an attorney in a law firm, he ditched my mother for the younger woman.
I haven’t seen him since he left nine years ago. He called on the phone about once a month and talked to my sister and me. My mother refused to answer when he called. We knew when she’d holler out to, “Answer the damn phone,” it was him calling. He never forgot to send us money for our birthday or Christmas. I liked receiving it, but I always felt like he was making a donation to a charity case.
I despised him as much as she did. I watched her for years try to pull her life back together. I had been given the role of man of the family at a young age. But on a day like today, when I should be given guidance by my own father, I hated him even more for deserting us.
“What’s wrong, Mark?” Bobby startled me from my thoughts. “You’re awful quiet.”
“I’m okay,” I assured him. “Just worried about what your father will say. You don’t think he doesn’t want us seeing each other, do you?”
“Are you kidding?” he shouted. “My dad’s crazy about you. You’ve fooled him into believing you’re a nice kid. But I know better.” He began to giggle.
“Yeah. Well you’re the one who put your hand down my pants,” I laughed.
“You’re not going to tell my dad about that, are you?” He sounded very worried.
“Yep. I’m going to tell him what a perverted son he has,” I continued to laugh.
“God, Mark. Don’t! Please!” He pleaded. I started laughing harder.
“I’d die of embarrassment!” he shouted.
“Don’t worry, Bobby.” I took his hand and held it. I’m just playing with you.” I could hear him let out a sigh of relief.
When we got to his house, his parents were sitting in the living room watching television. They were watching some documentary on the History Channel. I really believe that when you turn thirty, it’s mandatory that you stop watching anything good on TV. My sister and I fought all the time with my mother. She was always grabbing the remote and turning it onto the PBS channel. I can only say one word for it- boring.
We sat down and tried to act like we were semi-interested in something about the Civil War. I hate to say it, but I did learn a few things about Abe Lincoln that I hadn’t learned in class. But I’ll never admit it to his parents.
When it went off, his father rose and asked us to follow him. We stopped by the kitchen and picked up some snacks and pop. He led us out to the backyard and we sat in the middle of the yard. He kicked off his shoes and lay back looking up at the sky. I gave Bobby a questioning look and he just shrugged his shoulders. He seemed as confused by his father’s behavior as I was.
“Lie down boys,” he said. We kicked off our shoes and lay down beside him staring up into the sky. It was really peaceful. Bobby rested his arm against mine and I could feel him gently breathing.
“It’s amazing to think,” his father spoke, “that all you see before you is infinite. There is no end. It just keeps going on forever.” I looked out into space and was overcome with reality of infinity. I had never looked at the universe that way.
“The sky we’re looking at is the same one that people million of years ago stared out into.” I immediately pictured a caveman looking out into space as we were now doing.
“But as infinite as space is, life is not. It is just a speck in time. We are only here for a few short seconds compared to space itself. And since we’re only here for a short time, we must make the best of it.” I was getting confused. We were supposed to be having a talk about sex. What did it have to do with the sky?
“In your life you’re going to experience many things. You will feel love and hate, happiness and anger, peace and war, charity and greed. It’s what you do with those feelings that will make the men you become. Will you love more than hate? Will you fill your heart with happiness more than bitterness? Will you seek peace over war? And will you give more than you get?” The answer to those questions was easy, or so I thought. It made me wonder that if that was an easy answer, then why was there so much hatred and anger in the world? Why did countries go to war against each other?
“And see those stars.” He pointed at the sky. “Once in a lifetime, if you’re lucky, two stars will collide, and you will fall in love.” I could feel Bobby reaching for my hand. I reached over and took his in mine. We squeezed each other gently.
“And if love does find you, treat it like a precious gem and thank all the other stars in heaven for it. I come out here often and look up into the sky and thank the heavens for giving me your mother, Bobby.” I could tell that Bobby had wiped away tears with his other hand as he squeezed mine tightly.
“I sense that you boys have found each other,” he continued softly. “You’re both very young. Maybe those stars have collided, maybe not. But treat each other as if they have.
“I don’t have to tell you that there are people out there who will hurt you for loving one another. You must both be strong for each other. Bobby, you know that I and your mother will always be there if you need us. Mark, I have talked to your mother at length, and I know she loves you and will always support you as well.” It was now time for me to wipe away tears from my eyes.
“There are also diseases that, if you’re not careful, can harm your lives. Again, you two are too young to become too involved, but I was a teenager once myself, and I know that young boys experiment with each other- even straight boys.” Bobby suddenly turned to me and we stared wide-eyed at each other. Did his father just confess to messing around with other boys when he was our age?
“Just be careful. If you need anything come to me or your mother. We’ll supply you with whatever you need.” I could tell that Bobby was giggling. He was probably thinking which of us would use that ‘whatever.’
“Do either of you have a question?” he asked us.
“No, Daddy.” Bobby released my hand and rolled over and held his father. I could hear them both crying softly. I felt his father’s large hand reach out and pull me into them. I began to cry as well.
“all right. Enough of that,” Bobby’s father began to laugh. He stood up and reached out his hands and pulled us both to our feet. “Let’s go back in and watch some more television before I take you home, Mark.” Halfway to the house I watched as he looked into the sky and whispered, “Thank you.” I looked up and silently said the same.
I don’t know why, but after that night with Bobby’s father, I had a strong desire for Bobby to meet my Aunt Janice. I don’t know why, but I kind of wanted her seal of approval. My mother had already fallen in love with him and I wanted my aunt to meet him also. So we arranged to go see her the following weekend.
We were going to go on Saturday, but it rained all day. My mother volunteered to drive us, but I wanted to ride our bikes there. I guess I just wanted to be alone with Bobby while riding the back roads to her home.
The sky cleared up on Sunday, so my mother finally agreed to let me go after calling my aunt to make sure the weather was clear there as well. Bobby arrived shortly after lunch. I told my mother we would be home by 6:00.
The ride was peaceful. We rode side by side discussing the upcoming school year. We would both be in the sophomores. I was pretty sure that Bobby would probably graduate our senior year as valedictorian. I don’t think there was anyone else who was anywhere close to having the grades he did. Most of our class last year really didn’t care what kind of grades they made their freshman year, so he had a big head start on the rest.
We also talked about what we should do about Scott. We would see him occasionally when we were out on our bikes, or at the pool or mall. He would always give us a threatening look. I think he was planning to make our return to school a horrible experience.
I was not used to being the center of attention. Most students paid me little attention. But with a boy like Scott targeting me, it would be hard for others not to notice.
Bobby told me not to worry about it. He reminded me of the pictures of Scott’s parents he had downloaded. He told me that if Scott wanted to play rough, he would too. The only thing is- pictures don’t hurt you when they hit you in the face. I was not looking forward to school starting next month.
When we arrived at Aunt Janice’s house, she was working in the yard. She stood and smiled when she saw us coming down the street. To my surprise, she walked over to Bobby and wrapped her arms around him.
“So you’re the famous Bobby that Mark keeps talking about?” He looked over at me as I turned about fifty shades of red.
“Come here, Honey.” She extended her arms to me. I walked over and she hugged us both. I couldn’t help by notice that she was pushing me gently towards Bobby so that our bodies were snuggled together.
“Come inside and I’ll make you some...” she started to say.
“Lemonade.” I finished the sentence for her. She laughed and ruffled my hair.
She prepared three glasses and we went out and sat on the swing on the porch. Bobby sat in the middle. We talked for a long time. She wanted to know about how we met, Bobby’s parents and his interests. I found out more about him in that short hour than I had learned about him in the past month.
He was an avid reader. He particularly liked science fiction. Most of the writers he mentioned to my aunt I had never heard of. She seemed impressed with his vast knowledge. It seems my aunt likes the same writers. Several times they lost me in their conversation. I liked reading comic books. No way can you have an intellectual argument on the powers of Batman vs. Superman. Who is Isaac Somebody anyway?
I might as well have been a toad sitting on the swing. That’s about as much attention as they were paying me. I got up a few times to refresh our glasses with lemonade. They didn’t even notice. Bobby finally announced that he had to use the restroom. My aunt gave him directions and he disappeared into the house.
“He’s wonderful sweetheart. I’m so happy for you,” Aunt Janice said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Oh to be young and in love again.” I gave her a questioning look. I liked Bobby a lot, but I wouldn’t say I was in love with him.
“You are,” she looked into my eyes and smiled. “Yep. I’ve seen that look before. I see it in his eyes too. He couldn’t stop looking at you.”
“Looking at me. He’s been talking non-stop to you since we got here.” I sounded upset.
“But he’s been watching you out of the corner of his eye. He’s in love with you, Honey.” She took my hand and held it. “And you’re in love with him. You just don’t realize it yet.” I don’t know why, but suddenly I wanted to cry. I fought hard to keep the tears from falling. Aunt Janice noticed, and wiped away a single tear that fell from my eye.
“Don’t be afraid to love someone, Mark. The chance may never come again. Believe me.” I saw tears forming in her eyes. I knew she was remembering Mary. I started crying uncontrollably. Aunt Janice cradled my head against her chest. Suddenly, I became aware of all the pain that she had been holding in for the past twenty years. The woman who she had loved so much had been taken from her. She had never allowed herself to love again. That must be the saddest thing anyone could ever experience.
She rocked me in her arms for several minutes. I could tell she was crying as well. I think she sensed what I was feeling. Bobby stepped out onto the porch, but went back in when he saw our bereaved state. My aunt wiped away my tears, then her own.
“Thanks, Mark. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to cry for her.” She kissed me gently on my forehead. “Now let’s go get your little boyfriend.” She took my hand and led me into the parlor. Bobby was sitting there acting shy. I don’t know what was going on in his head. We must have looked a sight sitting on the porch swing crying our eyes out. When he had left, we’d been laughing.
“all right, boys. Time for..” my aunt started to say.
“Ice cream!” I shouted, again finishing her sentence.
We walked down the street to the ice cream parlor. The weather was nice, so we sat outside on the sidewalk. We surprised my aunt when a cute boy walked by and we looked at each other and yelled “10!” She gave us a questioning looked which made us begin laughing.
“What was that about?” she asked.
“You wouldn’t understand, Aunt Janice,” I told her. We looked at each other and began laughing again. We sat eating our delicious ice cream. Shortly a rather stout woman walked by. She was dressed very plainly and had her hair pulled back into a bun.
“2,” my aunt said in a low voice. We looked at her with stunned faces. She began laughing and then tousled both our heads. “What do you mean I wouldn’t understand? I’m not that old- yet.” Mark gave me a questioning look. It had never come up that my aunt was a lesbian. I think he was thinking she was an old maid like I had all my life.
“Then we have to find you a 10, Aunt Janice. How about her?” I intentionally pointed out an attractive woman sitting with her husband. I was having fun as I watched Bobby’s eyes widen and stare at my aunt.
“Naw. Her lips are too thin. She wouldn‘t be a good kisser,” she laughed as Bobby spit out his ice cream.
“You’re a..a..” He just stared with his mouth open.
“Lesbian, Dear. The word you want is lesbian.” Bobby looked absolutely shocked.
“I’ve never met a lesbian before,” he said in awe.
“Well, now you have,” my aunt responded with a smile.
“Cool.” He reached over and gave her a hug. “Too cool.” She looked over at me and winked as she continued to hold Bobby.
After we finished our ice cream we went back to her house and had some more lemonade. Bobby must have asked her a million questions. I always thought it was rude to ask such personal questions, but Bobby didn’t seem to have a problem with it. I guess that is why he is so smart. The only way you learn about something is to ask.
We left Aunt Janice’s home around 4:00. On the way back, we decided to stop at a small lake about half way home. It was in a secluded area and few people visited it. Once in a while there would be an occasional fisherman trying to catch a fabled large bass. Today, however, the lake was deserted. We found a shady, grassy spot and sat down.
Bobby lay down and looked up into the sky. I scooted over and lay beside him, gently placing my leg against his. He looked over at me and smiled.
“My aunt thinks we’re in love,” I said. This was a topic we had never discussed. We had discussed friendship and had even joked a few times about sex, but it seemed we were hesitant to discuss our feelings for one another.
He didn’t say anything for a long time. I could tell that he was deep in thought. Perhaps this was the first time he had to evaluate his feelings for me. I know I had never thought much about it. I enjoyed being with Bobby, and I had really enjoyed the times we’d had messed around, but I had never put a label on my feelings for him.
“Are you in love with me?” he finally asked. He looked over at me and searched for an answer. I think he was about as confused as I was.
“I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it,” I responded as honestly as I could. “Do you love me?” I asked. He remained silent, again searching his feelings.
“I don’t know, either. I like you an awful lot. I’m closer to you than I’ve ever been with anyone else in my life,” he said. “But I’ve never really thought about loving anyone other than my mother and father.”
“Yeah. I know what you mean,” I replied. “I never thought about it either, until my aunt said something about us being in love.”
“I think we’re too young to be in love. You’ve seen my body. I’m still in puberty. I hardly have any hair around my dick yet.” I looked over and began laughing. True to Bobby’s personality, he was trying to bring humor to a serious discussion.
“But the hair you have is cute,” I laughed.
“Seriously, Mark. I do think we’re too young to be involved in a deep relationship. We have our whole life ahead of us. We don’t know if we will even like each other tomorrow.” He was scanning my face for any sign of emotion. He was afraid I was feeling he was rejecting me.
“I agree with you,” I smiled. “We are too young. This whole love thing has me scared. I know I like you- a lot. We have fun together. Maybe I do love you. I don’t know. I know it goes beyond anything I’ve ever felt for anyone else.”
“Yeah, me too,” he replied. “So where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “How about we just keep it the way it is right now. Friends.”
“Friends,” he laughed. “Maybe a little more.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Really?” I replied with anticipation.
“Hey, we’re both horny teenagers,” he laughed. “I like the sex stuff, as long as we keep it simple. No tonguing, and definitely no butt. I’m not ready for that.” He wrinkled his nose. It was so cute.
“So what are you saying?” I was getting excited. He looked down and saw my pants begin to tent. He looked carefully around the lake and then reached over and rubbed my hardening cock.
“This,” he said breathlessly. “Pull down your shorts.” I pulled them down and he began stroking me. I laid back and humped his hand. Within a few minutes I was spewing cum all over my stomach.
“Cool,” he giggled. He reached in his pocket and pulled out some napkins he’d picked up at the ice cream parlor. He began to clean the mess off me. While he was doing that, I reached over and began to rub his pants until his cock hardened.
“Your turn.” He pulled down his pants and his small cock jumped to attention. He whimpered as I began to stroke him. I leaned in and kissed his dick. I was curious what it would taste like. I’d seen a lot of pictures on the internet in which guys were giving other guys blowjobs.
He gasped when he felt my mouth touch him. He leaned up to see what I was doing. I looked into his eyes as I put my mouth over him and began to gently suck. I liked the feeling in my mouth, and I could tell Bobby definitely liked it by the way he was whimpering.
“Pull off, Mark. I’m going to cum,” he warned. I took him out of my mouth and began stroking him. Within seconds he came all over my hand. He was lying back trying to catch his breath. I walked over to the lake and washed my hands off, then returned as he was finishing cleaning himself off and pulling his shorts back on.
“Cool,” he grinned.
“Yeah, cool,” I replied. “We’d better head for home. We gave each other a quick kiss and then got on our bikes and headed for home. This was going to be fun. I had a friend, a best friend. The rest could come later. Right now we were both happy.