I had no idea where TJ was. I hadn’t seen him in two days. He didn’t come to school yesterday, and he wasn’t in first period this morning. I was really looking forward to seeing him, especially after what had happened in my bedroom.
I can’t believe I told him I loved him. I’d never said that to another guy; or at least said it and really meant it. This time I meant it. And he had said he loved me, too. I know we are just getting off the ground with this thing, but I really felt good about it. Even my parents have fallen in love with him. I can’t believe they are actually encouraging me to bring him home again.
“It will be all right, Randy,” Dean said sympathetically. He had been with me through all my other relationships, and he knew this time I was serious. “Why don’t you just call him?”
“I don’t have his number,” I replied.
“Then I’ll take you by his house after school,” he volunteered.
“I don’t know where he lives,” I said sadly.
“Damn, Dude. What do you know? His name?” He laughed, but stopped when I shot him a stern look.
Suddenly, it dawned on me that I really knew absolutely nothing about TJ. I’d been so careful to avoid personal questions that I failed to ask him anything about himself. I didn’t know where he lived or with whom. Did he have a mother? Father? Sisters? Brothers? I really didn’t know.
“He’ll be back, Sweetie,” Trisha said as she reached over and took my hand in hers. I looked at her and she gave me a reassuring smile. I looked over her shoulder and saw TJ walk into the cafeteria. I smiled, and everyone turned to see TJ.
“Who’s he with?” Dean asked suspiciously. “Isn’t he that really weird kid everyone picks on?”
TJ was walking with a really small, skinny kid. He looked more like a junior high school student. He was thin and gaunt. He had shoulder-length black hair which hung down across his face. He looked dirty. I’d noticed him around school, but I never really paid any attention to him. He was rumored to be a stoner. I couldn’t figure out what TJ was doing with him.
They were talking animatedly, and TJ was laughing at something the skinny kid said. I stood up and called out his name. He looked at me, and then he looked quickly away. The kid grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the cafeteria line.
“Damn. What’s that all about? I thought you said you two had hit it off the other night.” Dean was more surprised by TJ’s behavior than I was. Wilson and Trisha stared at me. I guess they were waiting for my reaction.
“I have to talk to him.” I stood and Dean grabbed my arm.
“It didn’t look like he wanted to talk to you,” Dean said forcefully.
“I have to find out what’s wrong.” I broke Dean’s hold and headed for the food line.
“What are you doing this weekend?” I heard the skinny kid ask TJ. “You want to go to a movie or something?”
“He’s busy,” I interrupted as I glared at him. He didn’t seem intimidated by my presence. At the moment, I felt like Deanna. It is how she reacted when she thought someone was encroaching on her territory.
“Randy. What are you doing here?” TJ seemed embarrassed. He looked at me with pleading eyes.
“Can we talk?” I begged. “Please.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to you. Can’t you get that through your thick head, Dumbass?” The skinny kid shot back. My first instinct was to knock the shit out of him. I didn’t know who he was or what interest he had in TJ. However, if he spoke for TJ one more time, I was going to shove his lunch tray up his ass.
“Don’t Carter. It’s alright.” TJ looked at the kid with a sad expression. They both continued getting their lunch- a slice of pizza, bag of fries and an orange juice. I noticed that they both handed the cashier a lunch card. She scanned it and handed it back, asking for no money.
TJ and the skinny kid headed across the cafeteria and took a seat at an empty table in the corner. I followed behind, and then I took a seat between them.
“You still here?” The kid asked sarcastically.
“Randy, this is my friend Carter.” Carter looked angrily at me. I think if I had offered my hand for him to shake, he probably would have spit at it instead.
“TJ. Can we talk?” I looked at Carter. “Alone?” I took a good look into TJ’s face. He looked tired. It appeared that he hadn’t slept in days. He even seemed to have on the same clothes he was wearing at my house the other night. Even though he didn’t smell, I could tell he probably had not had a bath, either.
“I ain’t going no where,” Carter spat, as he glared angrily at me.
TJ hurriedly ate his meal, and then he rose from the table without saying a word. As he headed for the cafeteria door, I got up and followed. I looked over at the table where Dean was sitting, and he started to rise. I put my hand up and indicated I didn’t want him to follow. Good old Dean. He is always watching out for me.
I didn’t know where we were going. He exited through the back doors and began walking down the street. We didn’t say a word to each other. I felt like a puppy diligently following its master. After about five blocks we came to a small park. It had a swing set and a sand box. It was deserted. TJ walked over and sat down in a swing. I took the one next to him.
We sat for several minutes without saying a word. I had so much to say, but I didn’t even know where to begin. Finally, I said the words I’d been wanting to repeat to him again.
“I love you.” I looked over and saw a tear roll down his cheek.
“I know you do.” His voice cracked as he spoke.
“Do you love me?” I needed to know. He had said it the other night, but his actions made me wonder if he’d meant it. He continued swinging for a minute before answering.
“Yes.” He was crying and looked so lost. I wanted to console him, but I didn’t know if he wanted me to.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“You wouldn’t understand.” There it was. The answer he always gave me when I asked him something about his life. I got up, walked over and stood before him.
“Then make me understand.” I reached down and pulled him up into me. He fell into my chest and started sobbing. I held him tightly, refusing to let him go. I must have held him for five minutes, rubbing his back and telling him everything was all right. Finally, he backed away and looked into my eyes.
“God, I’m such as baby,” he laughed.
“Yeah, but you’re my baby.” I kissed him gently on the mouth. He then put his head on my shoulder and sighed. Suddenly, I felt his body tense. He pulled away from me as he looked over my shoulder. I turned around and saw Carter standing behind us on the sidewalk. He shook his head and walked away.
“He mean anything to you?” I needed to know if I was going to have competition.
“No. Just a friend.” He looked me in the eyes, and I knew he was telling me the truth.
“I don’t want to go back to school. Let’s go to my house.” He nodded. I grabbed his hand and we started off down the street. We didn’t care if someone did see us.
A pickup truck drove by and we heard the driver shout out, “Queers.” We gave him the finger and grabbed our crotches. We took off running when we saw his taillights come on. We tore through several backyards, laughing hysterically as we ran. When we reached my home we were out of breath. We went to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of sodas and headed to my bedroom. No one was home.
* * * * * * * *
I think I’m going out of my mind. I’ve never been so confused in my life. I used to hate my loneliness, but now I’m beginning to wonder if it wasn’t better. At least it never changed.
Randy tells me he loves me, and I believe him. Then Carter tells me that Randy is only using me as a plaything until something better comes along. I tend to believe Carter. A guy like Randy could have anyone in the world. Why would he want me? I can’t even tell him anything about myself. I’m sure I’m a mystery to him. Maybe that’s what he finds attractive. Once he learns the truth, he’ll take off. That I’m sure.
I didn’t go to school yesterday. I had an awful headache from the whiskey I drank the night before. I think it may also have been the weed I smoked with Carter. My body was not used to it.
I met Carter on the way to school. He can be so cute sometimes. He grinned ear to ear when he saw me coming down the street. I have a feeling he’s probably never had a real friend before. Carter’s the kind of kid people automatically pick on. He’s small and has long black hair. He’s almost girlish looking. It would be hard for a jock not to pick on him. However, he’s a really nice guy once you get to know him.
We walked to school and talked about nothing. We did get into an argument over who was the greatest superhero- Superman or Batman. We were still arguing when we entered the cafeteria at lunch. He had met me at my locker since we had planned to eat together. As soon as we walked through the door, I heard Randy call out my name.
“Forget him, man. He’s gonna do nothing but hurt you,” whispered Carter. I turned away and got in the food line. As I was preparing to get my food, Randy stepped up.
He and Carter almost began fighting. Carter had this need to protect me. I guess he didn’t think I was strong enough to deal with Randy by myself. He was probably right.
Randy followed us over to the table and begged me to talk with him. I really didn’t know what to say. I knew that I would end up melting into his arms once I started. I always do.
Since Carter wouldn’t leave us alone, I ate quickly and left the cafeteria. I knew Randy would follow. I went to the park where Carter and I met. When I sat on a swing, Randy sat beside me. There was an awkward silence for a few minutes. Then Randy said the one thing I wasn’t expecting.
“I love you.” I didn’t want to cry, but I couldn’t help it. He could have gotten mad at me and started yelling because I cut school yesterday. He could have called me names for ignoring him in the cafeteria. But no. He said he loved me, and I cried.
He asked me if I loved him. I was going to answer right away, but I wanted to be sure before I told him. Of course I loved him. I had from the moment I tapped on his shoulder and he turned around and looked into my eyes.
Then he asked me what was wrong, and I told him he wouldn’t understand. He stood in front of me and gently said to help him understand. I fell against him and cried like a baby. I knew I loved him. I wanted to trust him, but I had been hurt so much in the past. It was hard to let down the defenses I’d built over the years. In his arms I felt I could at least try.
When I looked over his shoulder, I saw Carter standing behind us. He had seen me in Randy’s arms. He shook his head and sadly walked away. I felt sorry for him. He was really trying to be a friend, and I had just let him down.
We decided to skip the rest of the day and go to Randy’s house. We had to run because two guys in a car had called us queers and we flipped them off. They turned around and chased us in their truck.
After stopping in the kitchen and getting a couple of sodas, we went to Randy’s bedroom. He closed the door and immediately pulled me over to the bed. He tossed me down on my back and fell on top of me. I looked up and his lips met mine.
As we kissed passionately, I could feel his cock hardening against mine. He was grinding himself into me. He grabbed the bottom of my shirt and had me sit up while he pulled it over my head. He then stripped his off.
“Damn. You’re beautiful,” he said admiringly as he looked over my tan chest. I was glad I’d spent so much time lifting weights the past summer. By the look in his eyes, it was obvious he approved of my build.
He began kissing me passionately. Soon, he began licking down my body to my nipples. I was moaning and squirming around on the bed. It was obvious that Randy knew his way around a man’s body. He knew just where to lick and suck to bring me to the brink of orgasm.
When his hand fumbled with the button on my pants, I reached down and unfastened them. He unzipped me and then reached in and grabbed my erect cock. I moaned loudly when the head popped through my boxer. He took it in his hand and began stroking me. He sat up, reached for my pants legs and began to remove them. My pants and underwear came off in one jerk.
“Damn!” he said excitedly. He reached out and began caressing my body. He ended by once again stroking my hard cock.
“Get naked,” I said, my voice thick with lust. He jumped off the bed, dropped his pants to the floor and then kicked them off. He stood before me in black boxer briefs with his cock jutting out. He turned and sexily pulled his briefs down, slowly exposing inch by inch his smooth ass. He let them drop, turned around and stood before me totally naked. His body was a work of art. He could have been the model for Michelangelo’s David.
He came over and lowered his body on mine. Our lips again met as we kissed passionately. I moved from under him and rolled him over, sitting atop him. I could feel his cock poking at my ass.
I moved down and sat on his upper legs. I then grabbed his cock and began stroking him. When drops of precum appeared on his dickhead, I leaned over and licked them off. Randy moaned his approval. I then took his cock in my mouth and engulfed it. He thrust forward, causing me to gag.
After catching my breath, I began sucking him once again. I wasn’t sure I was doing it correctly since I’d only sucked one other cock. I was only twelve, and Butch had interrupted that. I could tell by Randy’s reaction, though, that he was enjoying it.
Suddenly, the head of his cock enlarged, and he thrust deeply into my mouth. I was able not to gag. His body went rigid as the first blast of cum hit the back of my throat. I swallowed quickly as I attempted to take it all. Some began to run out the corners of my mouth. I didn’t particularly like the taste, but it was Randy. When he was finished cumming, I took it out of my mouth and kissed it. I moved up his body and found his waiting mouth. Once again, we became lost in our passion.
He kissed down my face and upper body until he reached my dark nipples. He would suck on one and then lick across my chest until he reached the other. He kept doing this while I thrashed around on the bed.
He continued running his tongue down my body until he reached my cock. I thought he would suck me, but instead he licked around it until he came to my balls. I almost came when he sucked one of them into his mouth and rolled it around. When he sucked the other in, I moaned softly.
When he stopped, I thought he would suck me. However, he surprised me when he lifted my legs and pulled them back to my shoulders, leaving my ass completely exposed to him. He then leaned in and began rimming my hole. When he stuck his tongue in my ass, I moaned and thrust back, pushing his tongue deeper. When he finished, he took my cock completely in his mouth. I could feel his throat trying to swallow my dick.
I couldn‘t last any longer. I screamed as I shot load after load into his mouth. He gulped it hungrily as he continued sucking me, trying to drain out every drop I had. I hadn’t cum in a few days, so I knew was happily rewarded with a large load. When I finished, he licked my cock clean before bringing his body up beside mine. We embraced and held each other tightly. We began kissing, but I stopped when I realized he was crying.
I pulled back and looked into his eyes. They were wet with tears. It caused me to begin crying as well. Both of us were overcome with emotion. He buried his head into my shoulder.
“I love you so much, TJ,” Randy whispered in my ear.
“I love you too,” I replied.
“Promise me one thing.” He looked at me with tears falling down his cheek.
“What?” I asked, kissing his tears away.
“Promise me you’ll always love me.”
“I promise .”
“Promise me you’ll love me tomorrow.”
“I promise you there will always be a tomorrow,” I vowed as I kissed him gently.