I had missed my first period class when I finally arrived at school. I sat outside in my car for a long time deciding whether or not I wanted to go in. I knew that eventually I’d have to see Brett. We shared a third period government class together. We sat in the back and usually talked after we’d been given the assignment. We also shared fifth period chemistry where we were lab partners.
I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him. I had spent one of the most miserable nights of my life after he walked out. He probably never even gave it another thought. He had no idea what his words had done to me.
I stopped by the office and got a tardy pass to class. The secretary made a lame joke about having a heart attack since this was the first time she’d ever seen me in the office. Even Principal Woodruff came out and made a crack about me having an early case of senioritis. Normally, I would have joked back; but I just wasn’t in the mood.
I might as well have stayed in my car a few minutes longer because I was only in second period about five minutes. The teacher called me aside and asked if everything was all right. Man. Come to school tardy one time in four years and everyone makes a big stink about it. There are students who come to school late every single day and no one says anything to them.
I walked slowly to third period. I knew Brett would be there and I just didn’t know if I could face him yet.
I wish I hadn’t gone. When I walked into class, I looked in the back for Brett. He wasn’t sitting where we usually sat. I then saw him sitting in the front row beside Cindy. He was whispering something in her ear, and she was blushing. He looked over his shoulder and noticed me. He smiled meekly and nodded. I frowned and went to the back of the room and took my seat. I looked over at the empty seat beside me. I put my head down on the desk and went to sleep. It was better than sitting in a classroom full of students and crying.
I was startled when the bell rang. I had slept all period. I guess the lack of it the night before had finally caught up with me. After grabbing my book bag, I watched as Brett and Cindy left the classroom- arm in arm. He looked back once and nodded. I just looked away.
If he was going to travel down a different road with someone else, I sure didn’t want to travel it behind him. He could have said something to me, given me a reason why. No. Instead he hid it behind my back. He didn’t say anything about liking Cindy. I should have figured it out that night at her party, but I guess I was too blind.
I also knew that Brett was probably straight. We’d had a lot of sex over the past few years, but thinking back it was always me who usually instigated it. I think Brett just went along because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I know now I was just a substitute until the real thing came along.
* * * * * *
Brett was bouncing around the room like a kid. We had just celebrated his fifteenth birthday by going to a water park with a bunch of our friends. Afterwards, my parents invited everyone back to my house for pizza, cake and ice cream. He still hadn’t settled down from the excitement of the day.
It was late at night, and I was trying to get him to go to bed. I had planned his ‘special’ birthday present for weeks. I wanted to give myself completely to him.
“Let’s play a video game,” he suggested excitedly, sitting down and turning on the computer. He grabbed the controls to my Xbox and put in a disk.
“No, Brett,” I pouted. “Let’s go to bed. I want to give you my birthday surprise.”
“What?” He looked over at me curiously. “I thought I’d already gotten all my presents.”
“Not this one.” I turned around and dropped my shorts and rubbed my ass.
“Oh!” he screamed. I continued to undress while he watched. I did a slow strip tease. When I was naked, I walked up to him, turned around.
He stood up and began undressing. I went over to the bed and lay down watching him. Brett is masculine; nothing feminine about him. He stands 6’1” and weighs 175 pounds. We both play football in the fall and baseball in the spring, so we are both pretty buff. There is no body fat on either of our bodies. I’m just an inch shorter and five pounds lighter. The thing that I’ve always found sexy on Brett is the hair on his body. He’s not hairy like an ape, but he has just enough to be attractive
“How do you want to do this?” he asked excitedly as he walked over to the bed.
“I don’t know.” I was beginning to wonder if I’d made the right. Two hours later, I knew I had. Giving myself to Brett brought us closer together. I felt our love was even greater than before.
“Thanks, Corey,” he said with a big smile. “That was the greatest birthday present ever.” He rolled over and fell asleep. I watched him as he lay sleeping for a long time before I finally fell asleep.
* * * * * *
Lunch was next, but I didn’t feel like eating anything. Besides, where would I sit? For the past four years, Brett and I always sat together with our football buddies. It would seem strange for me to just sit down at another table by myself.
Since it was nice outside, I decided to leave and find a quiet place. I found a shady spot under a tree and lay down, closing my eyes. After about ten minutes, I heard someone sit down beside me. My heart starting pounding because I thought it was Brett.
“You okay?” I recognized the voice. It was Charlie.
“Are you stalking me?” I sounded irritated, but it was actually meant as a joke.
“You wish,” she laughed. “Seriously, are you okay, Corey?”
“I’ve had better days.” I still hadn’t opened my eyes, but I could feel her looking at me.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No. Why would I want to talk to you?” This time I was irritated. Who was Charlie to be prying into my personal business?
“Because you’re hurting,” she replied. “And I hate to see friends get hurt.” I felt her put her hand on my chest and gently rub it. I opened my eyes and she was sitting close beside me with her legs crossed in an Indian position. She smiled timidly when I looked up.
“Hey,” she smiled. “You wanna blow this joint?”
“Sure, why not.” I don’t know why I agreed. I’d been thinking about cutting out, but didn’t know where to go. At least with Charlie I wouldn’t be alone.
“Hungry?” she asked.
“Not really,” I replied.
“Well, I am. Come on.” She held out her hand. I took it and she helped me to my feet. She took my arm and led me to my car. When we got there, she held out her hands for me to give her my keys. I tossed them to her and got in on the passenger side. We drove in silence. I put my head back and closed my eyes. About ten minutes later, we pulled up outside the Hamburger Derby, one of the favorite teen hangouts in town.
We sat down in a booth, and the waitress came over and took our order. She eyed us suspiciously. I don’t know if it was because she knew we were cutting school, or if she just thought we made an odd couple. Me, the Mr. Clean-cut poster child; and Charlie, complete with freckles and red hair. Today she was wearing a rainbow hat and purple tee shirt with orange pants.
“He dumped you, right?” she asked. It was more a statement than a question, though.
“What are you talking about, Charlie?” Again, she was beginning to irritate me.
“You know who.” She carefully examined my face. “Mr. Wonderful. I wondered how long it would take you to realize what was going on.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied angrily.
“Come on, Corey,” she said softly. “I’ve watched you for the past three years following around behind him like some loyal puppy. I was wondering when you’d find out he wasn’t interested in you.”
“You‘re full of shit.” Tears were beginning to run down my face. She took a napkin and handed it to me.
“You’ve heard all the rumors about me, right?” she asked. I nodded my head. “Well, they are true. I’m a lesbian. I felt that you were gay, too. I could also tell that you are deeply in love with Brett.”
I just looked across the table at her. I didn’t know what to say. I realized that she had seen things that I had refused to see myself. She reached over and took my hand and held it.
“But he doesn’t love you like that, Honey,” she said. “He’s been dating Cindy for about a month, and you didn’t even know it.”
I got up from the booth and hurried to the men’s room. I ran into a stall, sat down and burst into tears. Everything Charlie had said was true. I had been in love with Brett for years, knowing that he didn’t love me back. I was his best friend, and he cared deeply for me, but he never loved me. I sat sobbing uncontrollably when I heard the door open. I thought it might be another man coming in to relieve himself, but then I heard Charlie’s voice.
“Corey,” she said softly. “Come on out. Let’s get out of here. I had the waitress put our food in containers. Let’s go find somewhere more private.”
I wiped tears from my eyes and blew my nose. When I opened the stall door, Charlie was waiting against the door, holding it closed in case someone tried to come in. I walked over to the sink, turned on the water and splashed it on my face. When I turned back, Charlie threw her arm around my waist and walked me out of the restaurant. I sat in the passenger’s side while she again drove.
She drove us out to Kiser Lake about five miles outside of town. There were a couple of picnic tables. She parked and we walked over to one and sat down. She put the container of food in front of me.
“I’m not hungry." I didn’t feel like eating. I had no appetite, even though I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours. I put my head down on the table and closed my eyes. I felt embarrassed crying in front of Charlie. She opened a food container and started eating.
“I know how you’re feeling,” she said. “I’ve been dumped before, too.”
“I haven’t been dumped!” I screamed angrily. “He..he..just..” I started crying again. “He just doesn’t love me.” I put my head down and started sobbing again. I finally had admitted to myself the sheer reality that all these years had been a pipe dream. I always thought that I could have enough love for both of us to keep us together. I was wrong.
* * * * * *
"God, Corey,” Brett said as he lay stretched out across the bed. “That’s the third time we've had sex this afternoon.”
School was starting in a week, and I knew we wouldn’t be getting together as often. With football practice and homework, we’d probably be only seeing each other on the weekends.
“I just want to keep you satisfied.” I rubbed his furry stomach. “That’s all.”
“Keep me drained is more like it,” he said sharply. "I can’t move now.” He tried to get up from the bed but plopped back down. I laughed. He finally got up and stumbled into the bathroom.
I enjoyed pleasuring Brett. I knew that if I met his sexual needs, then he’d be happy with me and wouldn’t go looking for anyone else. He never seemed to be interested in anyone, so I just assumed he was satisfied with just me.
* * * * * *
We sat for about an hour without saying much. After a while, we rose from the picnic table and lay on the ground. Charlie was pretty intuitive. She knew I needed someone to be around, but she also recognized that I didn’t want too talk much. We lay on the ground quietly. After a while, she said her head was getting sore and she rested it on my stomach. It was nice to have a girl friend whom you didn’t have to worry about coming on to you; or worst- finding out you’d never come on to her.
“Ummm,” She purred softly. “This is nice. Julie and I used to come here often.”
“Julie?” I asked. We’d been talking about me, but I had never asked her any questions.
“My ex.” There was touch of sadness in her voice. “Long story.”
“I’ve got time,” I laughed. “What else is there right now?” I actually felt like crying.
“We dated last year,” she began. “One of those love at first sight things. We saw each other for a few months.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“She couldn’t deal with it,” she sighed. “Her parents were always on her. They wouldn’t let her see me. We just decided there was too much going on, so we didn’t see each other for a while. Soon she stopped calling.”
“Sorry.” I took her hand and held it.
“Hey. Don’t sweat it,” she said. “I’m over it now. But it sure sucked at the time.”
“Tell me about it.” I squeezed her hand tighter.
As if on cue, my cell phone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID. It was Brett. I turned it off and laid it beside me.
“Mr. Wonderful?” Charlie said sarcastically.
“Who else?” I replied.
We lay there for about another half hour. School would soon be out and I could go home. I’d already decided not to go to football practice. Brett would be there, and I didn’t want to run into him. I figured a confrontation in front of the whole team would be embarrassing. So I was just going to go home. It was as if Charlie read my mind.
“Don’t you have practice after school?”
“Yeah,” I responded. “But I’m going to skip.”
“What?” She clutched her chest. “The great Mr. Singer is going to skip football practice.”
“Funny.” I looked at her and rolled my eyes.
“What will Ellison High do without its star running back?”
“Shut up, Charlie. I’m a wide receiver.”
As soon as I said it, I knew how she’d respond. She looked at me and started laughing hilariously. I couldn’t hold back. I burst out laughing, too. It was something that I thought I’d never do again.
“That’s what I heard,” she laughed. Neither of us could stop. I guess there had been so much tension, that it felt good to let go.
I helped her up and we headed to the car. I turned my cell phone back on. I looked and there were seven text messages. All of them said the same thing:
Call me Corey! Please!
They were all from Brett.