It was a little after seven when I arrived at my father’s home. As soon as I walked in the door, he looked at his watch and told me that I was late for dinner. “We eat at six. Holly was disappointed you weren’t here.” He frowned and added, “You could at least show some respect by phoning us if you are going to be late.”
“Sorry, Dad,” I muttered as I headed for the guest bedroom.
“One other thing.” I stopped and turned. “If you’re not here for dinner, then you don’t eat. That is a house rule.” I turned and walked out without saying anything. I was beginning to wonder if staying with him would be better than returning home. At least Mom doesn’t have strict rules I have to follow. “Be here for dinner or you don’t eat.” “Don’t come in late, you might wake Emily.” How many more rules was he going to come up with?
I went to my room and stripped off my clothes. I needed to take a shower. When I came out, Dad was sitting on the edge of the bed. I grabbed a tee shirt and shorts and returned to the bathroom to dress. When I returned, he asked me to sit beside him.
“I don’t mean to be harsh on you, Seth,” he said. “But I do have certain rules I would like you to follow.” I nodded my head but said nothing. “I think some of your current problems are because your mother let you get by with too much.”
What! How could he say that? He didn’t even know what we did around the house. He had never been there. How could he assume I didn’t follow rules? I go to school every day, and I get excellent grades. Until recently, I spent all my time locked up inside my bedroom. I never caused Mom any problems. Even now, I wasn’t creating any problems. The ones she had with me were things she had to deal with.
I became angry and replied, “You don’t know anything about me. I’m not a bad person.”
“I didn’t say you were,” he replied as he patted my leg. I scooted away from him. “It’s just when I was a boy, my father set rules for me to follow. That is all I’m asking of you.”
“What other rules do I have to follow?” I was becoming increasingly upset. Staying here was becoming worse than what I left. I could understand that he expected me to do certain things, but he was beginning to sound unreasonable. I’m almost seventeen. I don’t have to be treated like a child.
“What about my friends?” I asked. “Can I have friends visit?” We had never discussed Craig, Ty or Blake visiting me other than him saying that they might enjoy swimming in the pool.
He hesitated a minute before answering. “I don’t have a problem with your friends visiting. They seem like very nice boys. However, I have to think about Emily. I don’t want you doing anything in front of her that might be inappropriate.”
I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What does that mean?”
“You know what I mean,” he answered rather sarcastically. “I don’t want any kissing or holding hands in front of her. She’s much too young to understand such things.” He looked over at the door. “I don’t want you to close your door when you have visitors. I don’t want her coming in and seeing god knows what.”
“Is that what you think I’m going to do?” I asked angrily. “What do you think I am?”
“Look, Seth,” he replied. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to upset you. I just thought that we should get some of these things out of the way. I have a wife and a child. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.”
I stood and looked down at him. “Then, maybe I shouldn’t be here.”
He stood before me and said, “Don’t think that, Son. I’m happy you are here. I’ve missed you.” He reached out to hug me, but I backed away.
“I’m tired, Dad,” I said. “I want to go to bed.”
He stared at me for a minute. I knew he regretted what he had said, but I knew he also meant it. I think he was beginning to regret bringing me home. I’m sure Holly had said something about me staying with them. He was probably only repeating what she had told him. “Goodnight, Seth,” he said as he turned and walked out the door.
I walked over and closed it. I returned to bed, threw myself on top and cried myself to sleep.
When I went downstairs in the morning, the house was empty. I ate a bowl of cereal and drank some milk. After cleaning up, I went upstairs to get my things. I packed everything back inside my duffle bag and two backpacks. I looked around the room to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. I was leaving, and I didn’t plan to return. I wasn’t sure where I would go. I was hoping that I could stay with Aunt Marie and Uncle Steve. I really didn’t want to, but I didn’t have any other place I could stay.
After picking up Ty, we rode in silence. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. He kept asking me if everything was alright. He sounded hurt when he asked, “You’re not mad at me, are you?”
I gave him a puzzled look and asked, “Why should I be mad at you?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I thought you might be mad because I sucked Craig last night.”
I smiled and replied, “That didn’t bother me. In fact, it was hot.”
“Really?” he asked, “It didn’t bother you?”
I giggled and replied, “Only if you don’t do me too.”
“Bet,” he smiled. I reached over and held his hand as we headed to school.
All morning I kept thinking about the discussion with my father. I was beginning to feel that I was a fool for leaving home. I should have realized that things wouldn’t be better staying with a man I didn’t even know. I was in such a hurry to leave that I didn’t think there would be a price to pay. From the first night, I didn’t feel welcome. Dad had built a new life with Holly and Emily. I just didn’t fit in. Now, I didn’t know what to do. I was planning to visit Aunt Marie after school and ask her if I could stay. I just hope it doesn’t affect Blake staying with them. He’s already been through so much. I don’t think he could survive another disappointment so soon.
I was heading to my third period class when I noticed Maggie and her brother coming toward me. Maggie stepped in front of me and said angrily, “Thanks, Fag, for making my best friend leave school.”
“I didn’t have anything to do with that,” I replied. I tried to push my way past her, but she grabbed my arm. “Listen, Bitch,” I spat. “Let go of my arm.”
Jeff stepped up beside her and asked threateningly, “Did you call my sister a bitch?” I tried to move past him, but he stepped in front of me. “I’ll show you what we do to faggots!” I gasped for air when he hit me in my stomach. Jeff is big. He weighs about 250 pounds. He hit me with so much force, I could hardly breathe. I fell to the floor unable to catch my breath. I winced when he kicked me in my side with his boot.
Through blurry eyes, I watched as he and Maggie walked away. A throng of students had gathered to watch. Several students rushed over and knelt beside me. One girl took off her sweater, raised my head and placed it under me. Suddenly, I heard Craig’s voice.
“Seth!” he screamed as he got on his knees and embraced me. “What happened?”
“It was Maggie and her brother,” I gasped. “I can’t breathe.” The crowd of students parted, and Mr. Montgomery knelt beside me.
He asked worriedly, “What happened Seth? Who did this to you?”
“It was Jeff Marlowe,” spat Craig. Mr. Montgomery asked me if he had hurt me, and I nodded my head.
“Let’s get him up and take him to the nurse,” ordered Mr. Montgomery. “Craig, help me.” They lifted me to my feet. Craig wrapped his arm around my waist. Mr. Montgomery hollered out and told students to get to class. We were left alone in the hall. As they helped me to the nurse’s office, Mr. Montgomery took out his radio and told security to find Jeff and bring him to the office.
I winced in pain with each step. I was breathing better. Now, my side where he kicked me was hurting. I was afraid that he might have done some damage to my kidneys or ribs.
Craig and Mr. Montgomery laid me down on the bed inside the infirmary. Mrs. Carter, the school nurse, entered and began examining me. She had Craig help me remove my shirt. Craig gasped when he saw the large bruise on my side. I asked Mrs. Carter, “Am I hurt bad?” She said she had to examine me first. I hissed in pain as she felt around the bruised area. She kept asking me how much pain I felt when she pressed on certain areas. I told her I had also been hit in the chest, and she examined it closely. I didn’t feel as much pain as she gingerly ran her hands over my chest. She listened with her stethoscope, and then she had me lean forward and take deep breaths so she could listen to my lungs.
“Your breathing sounds good,” she said as she looked at Mr. Montgomery. He asked her if he should call EMS. I let out a sigh when she replied, “I don’t think so. His breathing is normal, and I don’t think there is any internal damage.”
I became worried when Mr. Montgomery said, “I’ve had my secretary contact Mrs. Miller. When she gets here, the two of you can decide whether Seth should get more medical attention.” He patted me on my hand. “I’m going back to my office. I’ve been told that Jeff Marlowe was picked up in the parking lot trying to leave school. I’ll come back in and talk to you before you leave.” I smiled and nodded my head.
Mrs. Carter told me that she was going to leave for a few minutes. She said another sick student was waiting to see her. As soon as she closed the door, Craig leaned over me and started crying. “God, Seth, I’m so worried about you.”
I looked into his face and smiled. “I’ll be alright.” He leaned down and kissed me. I quickly looked at the door to make sure it was closed. Then, I returned his kiss. He stood by the bed and rubbed my hand. He kept asking me if I was alright. I was still in pain, but it seemed to be subsiding. I could take a deep breath without feeling the tightness in my chest. My side, though, continued to throb.
Mrs. Carter returned with a cold compress. She told Craig to hold it carefully to my side. She told him it would take care of any swelling. It burned at first, but it soon felt comforting. When she left, Craig gripped my hand tightly as he pressed it to my side. Occasionally, he would lean over and kiss me.
We had been in the room for about a half hour. Craig kept asking me if I was still in pain, and I would assure him I felt better. He leaned over and kissed me. Suddenly, the door opened and Craig jumped back. I looked to see who had entered. I was afraid Mrs. Carter had seen us. However, it was my mother! Mrs. Carter was standing behind her.
Mom approached the bed and looked down. “Are you okay, Seth?” she asked. She looked down at the dark bruise on my side and gasped, “Oh, Dear.” She turned to Mrs. Carter and asked if I was hurt badly. Mrs. Carter assured her that I appeared to be okay. She told her that she could take me to the emergency room of the hospital if she wanted them to examine me.
“I’ll be okay, Mom,” I insisted. I had already spent too much time in hospitals. I was afraid that they might find a reason to keep me. She turned and asked if I could go home.
“I believe Mr. Montgomery wants to speak to you first,” she replied. My mother nodded her head. Mrs. Carter asked her if she had any more questions and Mom told her she didn’t. She left and closed the door.
The next few minutes were very awkward. Craig remained pressed against the wall, and Mom tried to pretend he wasn’t in the room. Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wanted to test her to see if she was trying to change. “Mom,” I said nervously. “Aren’t you going to say anything to Craig.”
I think I surprised her. She smiled nervously at me, and then she turned and said, “Hello, Craig.” He nodded and mumbled a soft hello.
I said, “Craig helped me to the nurse’s office. He’s been taking care of me.”
Her face reddened and she replied, “I noticed.” I knew then that she had seen us kissing when she opened the door. Mrs. Carter entered the room and said that Mr. Montgomery wanted to see her. Craig let out a loud sigh when she left.
“God, Seth!” he remarked nervously. “Your mother saw us kissing.”
I reached out and gripped his hand, “I don’t care,” I replied. “If she can’t accept that you’re my boyfriend, that is her problem.” I pulled him to me, smiled and said, “Now, kiss me.” I laughed when he looked at the door before leaning down.
We were still holding hands when she returned. Craig tried to pull away, but I gripped his hand tightly. Mom looked down, but she didn’t say anything. I asked, “What did Mr. Montgomery say?”
She appeared very upset. “He said that Maggie’s brother did this to you. Why?”
“He did,” I replied. “Maggie probably put him up to it. She was mad because you pulled Stacy out of school.”
“Well,” huffed Mom. “Stacy won’t be seeing Maggie again.” I was surprised. I think it was the first time that she had ever restricted Stacy from doing anything. Maybe she was changing. “Mr. Montgomery is going to suspend him for ten days. It should be more. He should never have hurt you like he did.” I smiled when I saw how upset she was. It was the first time in a long time she had shown that she cared about me.
I asked, “When can I get out of here?”
“Mr. Montgomery said you can leave now,” she replied.
I looked at Craig and asked him if he was going to help me home. I looked at my mother’s face to see if there was any reaction. She looked over at Craig. He stammered, “I’ll have to call my mother.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and left the room.
My mother looked down at me and asked, “Are you sure you want to do this, Seth?”
“Yes, Mom,” I said challengingly. “If Craig can’t go home with me, then take me to Aunt Marie’s house.”
She sighed deeply and replied, “Okay.” I was confused. I didn’t know if she said okay that he could go home with me, or she was okay taking me to Aunt Marie’s house.
I didn’t know until Craig reentered the room and told me that he had called his mother. She was going to call Mr. Montgomery and let him know that he had her permission to let him leave school with me. He moved back against the wall and waited.
What seemed like an hour, but was probably only a minute or two, Mom turned to Craig and asked him if he could help me to her car. He helped me from the bed, and wrapped his arms carefully around my lower back so that he wasn’t pressing against the bruised area. My mother followed behind us and watched as I pressed my body into his for support. I really didn’t need his help, but I wanted her to watch Craig with his arm around me.
Before getting in the car, I asked her, “Where are you taking me? I want Craig to follow us in his car.”
She took another deep breath and replied, “Home.” I nodded at Craig, and he turned and headed toward the student parking lot. If I felt better later, then he could bring me back to get my car. If not, I’d have Ty do it.
We drove in silence. Occasionally, Mom would glance over, but she didn’t say anything. When we arrived home, Craig helped me to my room and lay on the bed. My mother stood back and watched as he removed my shoes and pulled a sheet over me. He gently touched my hand before he stepped away and asked me if I was comfortable. My mother said she was going to get me some Tylenol and then left the room. Craig sat on the side of the bed and held my hand.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked. “You’ve got a pretty nasty bruise on your side. Maybe you should go to the hospital and let them take a look at it.”
“I’ll be alright,” I assured him.
Mom returned a few minutes later and gave me the medicine. She then said that she had to go pick up Stacy at school. It surprised me when she asked Craig if he could stay until she returned. I assumed that she wouldn’t want him in the house when Stacy came home. “Sure, Mrs. Miller,” he responded with a puzzled look. I think he was as surprised as I was.
He rose when his cellphone rang and walked across the room. I heard him say, “He’s okay.” He looked at me and said, “Ty wants to come by. Is it alright?” I nodded my head. Since Mom was alright with Craig being her, then I figured it would be okay if Ty was here too. He spoke a few minutes to Ty, then he turned and asked, “Is it okay if he stops and gets Blake?” I thought I might be pushing Mom’s stress level, but I told him that it was okay for Blake to come too.
We sat and talked while we waited for them to arrive. Craig kept making threats that he was going to pay Jeff back for what he did to me. “And that Maggie is a wicked bitch,” he hissed. “If she tries to do anything, I’m going to fuck her up.” I warned him that he might get in a lot of trouble, but he said he didn’t care. “They deserve it,” he remarked angrily.
When the doorbell rang, Craig left the room. A minute later, Ty and Blake rushed into the room and approached me. “Oh, Seth,” cried Ty. “Are you alright?” When he leaned down to hug me, Craig stepped forward and warned him to be careful. He pulled back the covers and showed them my bruise.
“Wow!” exclaimed Blake. “Does that hurt?”
I smiled and replied, “Of course it hurts.” They wanted to know what happened. They became upset when Craig told them about Jeff punching me in the stomach and then kicking me in my side when I was on the floor.
“Son of a bitch,” spat Ty. “I hope they expel his fat ass. He’s nothing but a bully. He picked on me when I was in the sixth grade. Mom had to go to school and get the principal to make him stop.”
I rose and scooted against the wall. They removed their shoes and sat on the bed beside me. Craig was to my right, and Ty was on my left. Blake sat next to Ty. We talked about what was going to happen to us next.
Blake seemed really happy to be living with Aunt Marie and Uncle Steve. He said he was going to go back to school tomorrow and try to catch up on all the work he was missing. Ty gave him a kiss and told him he would help him study.
Craig laughed and said he, “There won’t be much studying going on with you two.”
“Probably not,” giggled Blake as he reached down and gripped Ty through his sweatpants.
I asked Craig how things were going at home. “About the same,” he replied. “My old man is still upset with me not playing football. Now, he’s trying to talk Bryan into playing pee wee football at school.” When I asked him about his mother, he said that she seemed to be accepting things. He said, “She even asked a few days ago when I would bring you home.” I reached down and held his hands.
Ty asked me how things were going for me. I told them that I wasn’t going to live with my dad. However, I really didn’t go into any details. Mostly they were just feelings I had, and I wasn’t sure if I could express them so they would understand. Blake asked me what I planned to do. When I told him I might ask Aunt Marie if I could stay with her and Uncle Steve, he became excited.
“That would be so cool!” he said excitedly. “We could be like brothers.”
Craig laughed and said, “Brothers don’t fuck each other.”
I looked at the upset look on Ty’s face. I said, “We wouldn’t be sharing a bed. They have four bedrooms. I’ll sleep in another bedroom.”
Craig laughed again and said, “And you’ll be tiptoeing across the hall every night.” I felt he was right. That was the main reason I didn’t want to stay with my aunt and uncle. The temptation would be too great, and it would upset them knowing that Blake and I were sneaking around at night and having sex.
I said sadly, “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Why can’t you just stay here?” asked Ty.
“Yeah,” said Craig. “Your mom didn’t seem too upset.” He laughed and added, “I’m sitting here, aren’t I?”
She did seem different today. She didn’t get upset and scream at us when she saw us kissing when she surprised us in the infirmary room. And when I asked her if Craig could come home with me, she hesitated before deciding. However, eventually she agreed. She also didn’t ask him to leave when she went to get Stacy. I didn’t have many options. And right now, only one seemed reasonable.
I held my breath when I heard the front door close. Mom and Stacy were home. We heard them talking as they came down the hallway. We scooted further apart on the bed so it wouldn’t look like we were all pressed together.
Stacy peered into the room. She took one look at Craig and screamed, “What are you doing here!” She turned and yelled, “Mom!”
My mother quickly appeared and grabbed Stacy by the arm and pulled her away. “Go to your room, Stacy!” she ordered.
She yanked her arm and hollered, “Go to your room!” Stacy huffed and left. Seconds later, we jumped when she slammed her door closed.
My mother looked into the room and said, “Sorry, Boys.” She closed the door, and then we heard her shouting at Stacy in her room.
Craig laughed nervously, “Well, that went well.”
“Yeah,” I replied with a giggle. “At least she didn’t bring in a butcher knife and cut your dick off.” Ty and Blake laughed. Blake made a comment that we would then have to start calling him Craigstina.
Craig grabbed his crotch and said, “I got your Craigstina.”
“Maybe later,” giggled Blake.
Mom continued to yell for several more minutes. I had never in sixteen years heard her raise her voice in anger at Stacy. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but she did holler, “He’s your brother,” repeatedly. After a few more minutes, we jumped when the door slammed shut.
My mother opened my door and stepped inside. “Sorry, Boys. I apologize that you had to hear all that.” Her face was still red with anger. She turned and started to close the door.
“Mom!” I hollered out. I ran into the hall and stopped her. “Can I go get my car? I left it at school.”
“How do you feel, Dear?” She lifted my shirt and examined the bruise. I winced slightly when she gently touched it.”
“I’m okay,” I assured her. “I can drive.”
“Alright then,” she replied worriedly. “Will you be coming home afterwards?”
I stood and stared into her face before answering. Finally, I said, “Yes.” She opened her arms, and we embraced.
I was teary eyed when I entered the room. Craig asked if I was alright, and I assured him I was. “Let’s go,” I said. We jumped into Craig’s car and headed toward school to get my car.
As we stood beside it, Craig said, “Let’s do something.” He looked at his watch. “It’s still early.”
“What do you want to do?” asked Blake.
“Let’s get a pizza and take it somewhere and eat,” he replied. I laughed when Ty moaned. He knew he would have to pay for it. We headed to a nearby pizza place and ordered a large pepperoni pizza, four sodas and a big bag of potato chips.
When we walked outside, I asked Craig, “Where do we go now? Are we going to eat it in the parking lot?”
Blake looked at me and smiled. “I got an idea,” he said. He looked at Craig and told him and Ty to follow us in my car.
When I pulled out of the parking lot, Blake told me to turn left. I asked, “Where are we going?”
“To the warehouse,” he replied. I looked over and gave him a puzzled look.
“Why are we going there?”
He shrugged his shoulders and replied, “I just want to look around one last time.”
When we pulled up and parked, Craig approached and asked, “What are we doing here?”
I pointed to Blake and said, “It was his idea.”
Blake looked at me with tears in his eyes. “This old place has so many memories. It’s where we met.” I wanted to tell him we met at the football game, but I knew what he meant. It is where he brought me when I first fell in love with him.
He looked at Craig and smiled. “It’s where we first had sex.”
Craig reached down and adjusted his cock. “Yeah,” he replied. “That was hot!”
“You guys had sex here?” asked Ty disappointedly. “And you didn’t ask me?”
Blake giggled and said, “Just wait.” Ty reached down and adjusted his dick.
We pulled back the rickety door and entered. We then carried the pizza to the room where Blake had made the makeshift bed. He walked over and sat down on it. We sat down beside him, and Craig opened the pizza box and handed us a soda.
The pizza was cold, but it was the best pizza I ever had. I was sharing it with the three guys who meant the world to me. As I looked around the room, I remembered all that had happened here. It is where Blake came when the world came crashing down on him. It is where I brought Craig when we were discovered at the party. I looked up at the beams where he wanted to find a rope to hang himself. I looked at the door that led to the room where we found Blake near death. This room had been the center of all our chaos.
Now, it was filled with love. We were laughing as we shoved pieces of pizza and chips into each other’s mouths. When we finished eating, we threw the trash off to the side, and then lay on the cardboard bed. Craig lay atop me, and Ty lay atop Blake. They smothered us in kisses. Occasionally, we would lean over and share our kisses.
Fifteen minutes later, we were naked, touching and kissing each other. Ty rose and reached into his pants and pulled out his wallet. We laughed when he held up two condoms. Blake asked, “Where did you get those?” He told us that he bought them at a pharmacy. He said the cashier is a lesbian, and she didn’t ask him his age. She smiled and told him to ‘play safe.’
He handed one to Craig, and then he went and sat down beside Blake. They began to passionately make out. Craig pulled me on top of him and we began to kiss. He held up the condom and smiled. I nodded my head and kissed him. We looked over when Blake began to moan. Ty had his legs pulled back and he was fucking him gently.
Craig rolled me over onto my stomach. I was afraid it might hurt because he is so big. But Craig is a gently lover. He was very careful that he didn’t hurt my side. He took his time and penetrated me slowly. After a few minutes, I was begging him to fuck me harder. I looked over at a smiling Blake. He held out his hand, and I gripped it tightly.
When it was over, we lay exhausted in a huddled mass on the cardboard bed. We lay breathing heavily as we smiled at each other. This was now a place where I lost my virginity.
We finally decided that we should leave. Blake and I were planning to return to school tomorrow, and we had homework assignments to finish. I drove Ty and Blake home. Ty kissed Blake on the porch before he entered. When he ran back to the car, he was smiling broadly. I had never seen him happier. As I drove him home, I reached over and held his hand. He gave me a quick kiss before exiting the car.
Mom was in the family room alone watching a movie. I tried to sneak past her and go to my room, but she stopped me. “Seth!” she hollered out. “I want to see you.”
“Yeah, Mom?” I asked. I was afraid she was going to say something about me being out so long.
She motioned for me to come over to her. When I did, she lifted my shirt and looked at my bruise. “Are you still hurting?” she asked as she gingerly pressed on it.
“No, Mom,” I assured her. “It doesn’t hurt.” It did, but I didn’t want her to worry.
She began brushing my shorts off. “Where did all this dust come from?” I tried not to look at her. I had forgotten to shake out my clothes when I got dressed in the warehouse. “Well, put them in the laundry room, and I’ll wash them tomorrow.”
“Okay, Mom,” I replied as I hurried from the room. I didn’t want her asking me anymore embarrassing questions.
I went to my room, undressed, and went across the hall to take a shower. When I came out, I looked quickly at Stacy’s room. Her door was closed, and I didn’t hear any noise coming from inside. I went back to my room and finished my homework assignments.
When I climbed into bed later, I lay awake thinking about what had happened lately. Things were beginning to settle down. I was in love with Craig. It had been a rocky start, but I felt confident we could make it. I also love Blake and Ty. As weird as it may seem, the four of us seem like one. We can express our love without any jealousy. Things just seem to fit.
I am beginning to feel that I can live here with Mom and Stacy. Mom seems to be changing. I’m not sure Stacy will ever change, but at least she seems to be leaving me alone. I don’t feel I have to watch my door constantly fearing that she will enter with a butcher knife. She didn’t even react too badly when she saw Craig in my room earlier. I knew she would be upset, but Mom seemed to be able to handle her. I had never seen her do that before. Usually, she just lets her have her way.
The chaos that seemed to be hanging over my head has somewhat disappeared. I know my life will never be perfect. Whose life really is? But I’ve become wiser lately. I think I’m now better prepared to face any chaos that comes my way.
Thank you for reading Seth on the Road to Chaos. I hope you enjoyed it. It's been a long journey together. I would love for you to write and share your thoughts with me.