Love on Trial
Jason picked me up to go to the party around a quarter to eight. I had wanted to
drive my own car, but he insisted on me riding with him. He thought it would be
nice if all four of us rode together. Since he had been our main source of
transportation over the past year, I didn’t refuse. I think he was also a little jealous
that I had a nicer car than he had.
After we left my house, we drove to Cynthia’s. As a rule, I always had to go in and
greet her father before taking her anywhere. I lied and told him it was a
chaperoned party we were attending. As far as Cynthia knew, I was telling the
truth. I don’t think anyone mentioned to her that Chris’s parents would be gone for
I sat in the backseat with Cynthia while we went to pick up Stephanie. Jason blew
the horn twice, and she came running outside to the car. She spoke to Cynthia
when she got in, but she ignored me.
We arrived at Chris’s house in about ten minutes. His home was enormous. It sat
on a hill with a long driveway. His father was a land developer, and he had built
most of the newer homes in the area. He and my father were the best of friends,
so he hired my father’s firm to do most of the plumbing.
Chris greeted us at the door. He was dressed in khaki shorts and a light blue polo
shirt. He looked really cute. I hadn’t paid much attention to his looks before; but
standing in the doorway with the fading sunlight on his face, he drew my attention.
The thing I noticed most was his twinkling green eyes.
Chris is about 5’9” and weighs about145 pounds. He has short brown hair that is
tapered on the sides and spiked on top. He is tanned, probably from swimming in
the backyard pool.
He is extremely quiet in school. I was surprised when he agreed to volunteer for
the mock trial. To most people, he seems aloof and somewhat arrogant. However,
after working with him for the past month, I knew he was just shy.
He smiled when we walked up onto the front porch. “Welcome to Sunnyvale
Manor,” he announced as he waved a drink in front of him. “The home of the great
John Vandale Brewster.” He stumbled, as he stepped back to let us in. Jason looked
over at me and laughed.
“I guess he started without us,” he exclaimed. “Show us the way to the liquor
cabinet, Old Boy.” He grabbed an unsteady Chris and led him back into the house.
I didn’t like the way things were going. I figured we would probably do a little
drinking, but Chris and Jason seemed to have different plans. I knew I was right
when Jason came back into the living room a few minutes later and handed me a
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Rum and coke,” he said. He took a drink from his glass. “Drink up, Tay.”
“You’d better go slow with that,” whispered Cynthia. “He may need some help
getting out of here later.”
“I’m not planning on getting drunk,” I assured her. She got up and returned a few
minutes later with a drink.
“What do you have?” I asked.
“Lemonade,” she giggled. “Daddy would kill me if I came home with alcohol on my
“Kill you,” I laughed. “He’d cut my balls off. I told him we were being chaperoned.”
Cynthia suddenly realized that no adults were around. “Where are his parents?”
“Out for the night,” I laughed. She looked over and gave me a worried look.
“It will be all right,” I said smilingly. “Trust me.”
Chris turned on some music and we got up and started dancing. I have to admit I
was having fun. It felt good to ‘let loose.’ The alcohol was letting down my
inhibitions. Every time I would put down my drink, either Jason or Chris would refill
Jason tried to get me and Stephanie to dance, but she refused. I guess she hadn’t
had enough to drink. Jason gave her one when we first entered, but she only
sipped slowly on it. I suppose she was afraid Jason might get drunk, and she
wanted to keep a watchful eye on him.
Most of the songs we danced to were fast, but at one point Chris walked, turned
down the lights and played a slow song. I danced with Cynthia while watching
Jason grinding sexually into Stephanie’s body. I felt sorry for Chris. He sadly
watched while we danced. I thought it was strange that he had not invited a girl to
join him at the party. With his good looks- and his father’s money, he could have
had his pick of any girl at school.
“Why don’t you go dance with Chris?” I whispered into Cynthia’s ear. She looked
over and saw him sitting at the bar watching us dance. “I feel sorry for him. We’ve
been dancing for an hour and he hasn’t danced one time.”
Cynthia walked over, grabbed his hand and pulled him out onto the middle of the
floor. He kept trying to pull away, but Jason and I kept pushing him back into
Cynthia’s arms. Finally, he stopped resisting and fell against her.
Jason and Stephanie started applauding as he held onto Cynthia. It looked like she
was struggling to keep him on his feet. When Jason and Stephanie started dancing,
I noticed that Jason could hardly stand also. I reeled back and sat on a barstool. I
watched Cynthia and Chris slowly dance. He kept his eyes closed, but he would
occasionally open them and look sadly at me when they circled my way. Once
when they went around, it looked like he might have tears in his eyes.
The song ended and Chris walked over and put a fast dance song on. Cynthia took
a seat on the barstool. I was standing beside her when Chris approached.
“How about a fast dance?” Chris asked her timidly.
“I’m tired,” Cynthia said exhaustedly. “Can you wait a little while?”
Chris’s face dropped and he started to walk off. I walked over and grabbed his
arm. “I’ll dance with you,” I said. He looked bashfully around the room. “Come on.
It’s just us here. No one gives a damn.”
We went to the middle of the room and started dancing. I don’t think I had ever
seen Chris so animated. He was stumbling around the room, throwing his arms in
the air and singing loudly to the song.
“Look at the two fags,” I heard Stephanie say angrily to Jason.
“Shut up, Steph,” he told her. “They’re just having fun.”
“Well then,” she pushed Jason away, “you go dance with them.”
“I will.” He walked over and started dancing around us as Stephanie stormed
angrily over to a bar stool and sat down. Several minutes, later Cynthia and
Stephanie walked outside and sat in lounge chairs beside the pool. Stephanie would
occasionally look angrily into the room.
We danced several more songs together. We were having a lot of fun. It was the
first time in several months that Jason acted like he was having more fun with me
than Stephanie. We made several more trips to the bar to refill our drinks. All of us
were having trouble standing without reeling back and forth.
“I think I’m drunk,” laughed Jason.
“I know I’m drunk,” responded Chris.
“I know we’re all drunk,” I laughed.
Suddenly, Stephanie and Cynthia came walking into the den. Stephanie stepped up
to Jason and stuck out her hand.
“Give me your keys,” she demanded angrily.
“Why?” he stumbled back and fell into a chair.
“Because you’re drunk,” she replied. “Cynthia and I are leaving.” She fished around
inside his pocket and took out his keys.
“Hey,” laughed Jason. “Don’t stop. Keep looking and you might find something
“You wish.” She turned and grabbed Cynthia’s arm, leading her to the door.
Cynthia turned and gave me a timid wave. When they left, Stephanie slammed the
“Bitch,” exclaimed Jason angrily. Chris and I started laughing.
We sat around the bar and had another tall drink. We were really drunk. I don’t
think any of us were talking in complete sentences, but we seemed to understand
Chris walked over to the sofa and fell onto it. Within seconds, he was passed out.
Jason and I looked over at him and laughed. His head was back and slobber was
leaking out of the side of his mouth.
“Damn,” exclaimed Jason. “That shit is gross.” He jumped up from the bar stool
and stumbled across the room. “I gotta go take a piss.”
I sat and looked at Chris. Even in his drunken state, he still managed to look good-
slobber and all. I started laughing when he curled into a ball, grabbed the pillow
and held it tightly. He looked like a little boy sleeping in bed with his teddy bear.
When I finished my drink, I realized that Jason had not come back into the room. I
walked down the hall to the large bathroom. He was lying on the floor. He had
obviously passed out while pissing because his shorts were unzipped and stained
I struggled to get him to his feet and drag him across the hall to the nearest
bedroom. I pulled him onto a king size bed and looked down at his piss-stained
shorts. I decided to undress him so he wouldn’t sleep in wet clothing. I pulled off
his shoes and socks and removed his tee shirt.
I then unzipped his shorts. I lifted him enough so that I could remove his shorts
and underwear. It had been a couple of years since I last saw his cock. It appeared
to have grown several inches. It rested limp against a set of large balls. His body
was covered with a light dusting of hair on his chest and legs. He looked better
than I remembered.
The stench of urine filled my nostrils. I reeled back and thought I was going to be
sick. I rose from the bed and stumbled back into the bathroom. I found a clean
washcloth, put soap on it and staggered back to the bedroom.
Jason was still lying as I had left him. I took the rag and began washing his
stomach, legs, and finally his cock. It began to harden as I stroked the soap onto it.
“Oh yeah, Steph,” he mumbled as his cock grew rigid. “That feels good.” He was
talking in his sleep and dreaming that he was having sex with his girlfriend. I
continued to soap him as his cock grew to about seven inches
“Yeah!” he moaned. “Suck it, Steph.” His eyes were still tightly shut.
I then made the worse mistake of my life. I leaned in and took his cock in my
mouth. I managed to engulf about five inches when he moaned loudly. “Oh, yeah!”
Suddenly, the light to the bedroom came on.
“Jason, are you...?” I turned to see Stephanie and Cynthia standing in the doorway.
“You mother fucker!” Stephanie ran across the room and started swinging wildly at
me. She hit me in my face, my back and arms- anywhere she could land a punch. I
jumped off the bed away from her.
“I knew you were a fag, you son of a bitch,” she spat. She ran around the bed in an
attempt to hit me. I jumped on the bed, stepped across Jason and headed for the
door. As I ran past her, Cynthia gave me a sad look. She put out her hand to stop
me, but I pushed her aside and ran down the hallway toward the door.
I raced down the drive, running as fast as I could. I ran out onto the road and
turned left. The area was isolated, and there were no sidewalks. After running out
of the development and onto the highway, I fell exhausted into some brush.
I lay there gasping for air. My lungs were aching and my chest was pounding. At
that moment, I prayed that my heart would explode and that they would find me
dead in the heavy thicket. There was no way I could ever face anyone again. Jason
would hate me for what I did. Stephanie would probably assault me if she saw me
again, and I knew that Cynthia would never talk to me after witnessing me sucking
Jason. Even though she knew I was gay, I think she believed that someday I would
get over him, and she would be there for me. Now she had seen just how
desperate I was for Jason.
I had no idea what time it was. The last time I looked at a clock it was after
eleven. It was when Chris was dancing with Cynthia. I figured it had to be at least
one in the morning.
One of the bad side effects of running was that it sobered me up. I had run numb
through the development, not thinking where I was going. However, now I was
becoming aware of my surroundings and recalling what had led me to where I was.
The venomous words of Stephanie echoed in my ears. I recalled the sight of Jason
lying naked on the bed, passed out from too much alcohol. The hurt look in the
eyes Cynthia’s eyes as she reached out haunted me. It all came swirling back, like
an avalanche rumbling down a mountainside. An agony consumed me and covered
me like the snow at the bottom of a mountain.
I lay in the brush crying in desperation. I screamed and pounded the ground. If
anyone had seen me, they would have thought that I was a madman. Perhaps I
was. I was falling down a bottomless pit and there was no way to stop the decline.
I wanted to be dead. I listened for a car to come speeding down the road. Once, I
got up on my hunches and prepared to jump out in front of an oncoming car, but I
chickened out at the last minute. I didn’t have the guts to end my own despair.
I didn’t know what to do. Where could I go? I couldn’t return home. I was sure that
either Stephanie or Jason would call my house in the morning and tell them about
the disgusting act I had performed on him.
Going to Cynthia’s house was not even an option. Her father was a preacher. As
soon as he found out that I was a fag, he would cast me out as a sinner. He would
no longer allow his daughter to associate with a person destined to hell.
I had no other close friends. Jason had been the only friend I ever needed. I was
never comfortable in the company of other boys. I considered going back to Chris’s
house, but I was sure he didn’t want to see me again after I had defiled one of his
I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn’t stop crying long enough to rest. Several times I
had to vomit the alcohol from my stomach. I lay crying along the side of the road
with vomit running out the side of my mouth and my body reeking of alcohol.
I started to panic when the sun began to rise over the horizon. I was afraid that
there would be people out searching for me. I didn’t want anyone to find me. I was
determined to run away and never return.
I cried again thinking that I would never see my mother or father again. I had
always loved them, but I knew they wouldn’t want me to return to their home- not
after the embarrassing thing I had done. How could I ever face my father again
with him knowing that I had sucked Jason’s cock while he lay passed out naked on
a bed? I would rather run away than to see the look of disgust on his face.
After waiting until most people had gone to work, I trudged down the road,
jumping off whenever a car would approach. Chris’s home was probably several
miles from town, so it took me a couple of hours to walk it at the pace I was going.
I was also getting extremely hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything since having the pizza
the day before. Chris had supplied us with plenty of alcohol, but we had eaten
When I came to a carryout, I went inside and purchased a few bags of chips and
some candy bars. It was the quickest thing I could go in and get. The storeowner
looked at me cautiously when I approached the checkout counter. I must have
looked a sight. My face was stained from crying all night. My clothes were dirty and
soiled, and I reeked of alcohol. He more than once wrinkled his nose when I was
standing before him.
I left and headed into town as I gulped down the food I had purchased. As I walked
down the sidewalk, I kept turning around to watch the traffic. I ducked into an alley
when I saw a police cruiser driving slowly down the street. I peeked out from
behind a trashcan and saw him stop and peer into the alley. I was afraid that he
might have seen me enter. I let out a sigh of relief when he pulled off.
It was still early morning, and I didn’t know where to go. I was aware that people
had to be looking for me. I was, after all, only sixteen. I’m sure my parents had
called the police and reported me missing. After talking to Stephanie, they would
probably tell the police to take me to a juvenile detention center. Even if I decided
that I wanted to go home again someday, I would not be welcomed. No parents
want a gay, sex-crazed son.
I was also scared that Jason might have pressed charges against me for rape.
Wasn’t that what I had done to him? I had taken advantage of him while he lay
drunk in a bed. If he didn’t tell the police what I had done, then I’m sure that
In the afternoon, I found a quiet place at a nearby park. It was far enough from
the road that no one could see me if they drove past. It would also provide me
some safety because there was a children’s park nearby.
I lay down under a large maple tree and fell asleep. I awoke several hours later
when a fire truck went rushing by. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and sat up,
trying to figure what time it was. I saw some small children walking home from
school, so it must have been late in the afternoon.
I arose and walked across the park to a Burger King. Everyone stared at me when
I entered and approached the counter. One little old lady wrinkled her nose and
stepped away from me when I stood beside her.
I ordered several sandwiches and French fries. I was now out of money, and I
knew it would probably be the last meal I would be able to eat for a while. I left
the restaurant and returned to the park to eat. I remained there the rest of the day
watching children playing in the park.
When the sun began to set, I thought it would be best if I went to a more lighted
area. The park was dark and dangerous at night. I remembered watching in the
news several years ago about a young woman being murdered in the park.
I headed into town and walked around looking in the store windows. Since it was
after eight o’clock, most stores had closed. I ducked into alleys and store
entrances when I would notice a police cruiser coming down the street.
Around eleven o’clock, I noticed a strange man following me. He must have been
about fifty years old. He was short and fat, and he kept chain-smoking cigarettes.
I walked quickly trying to escape him, but he would pick up the pace when I would
When I came to a lighted area, I decided to confront him. I turned and stood
before him. “What do you want?” I asked angrily, hoping to intimidate him.
“I just wanted to talk to you,” he said unthreateningly. “I saw you walking the
streets. Are you a hustler?”
“A hustler?” I couldn’t believe he thought I was cruising the streets for sex.
“Yeah,” he replied. “You’re cute.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a bill.
“Here’s twenty bucks. Let’s go over there in the alley and you can suck my dick.”
“Suck your own dick!” I shouted as I tore off down the street. I was scared. I didn’t
belong on the street. I didn’t know what to do or how to take care of myself. I
wanted to go home, but I couldn’t. Tears started rolling down my face.
I ran up to a phone booth outside an all-night liquor store. Several winos
approached me asking for change. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my last
quarter. I took out my wallet and found a business card tucked safely inside. I
dialed the number and waited until I heard the voice on the other end.
“Bernie!” I wailed. “I’m scared. Come get me!”
Chapter 8 Return to TMJ