I left Todd’s house walking on Cloud Nine. I couldn’t believe the incredible experience I had just had with him. Just a week ago I thought my life was over, now I had a wonderful boyfriend. I was in love!
I opened the door, crept quietly into the living room and headed for the stairs. I heard my mother shuffling around in the kitchen preparing dinner. I was trying to hide from her. I didn’t know if I could contain my excitement. I needed some time to get myself together.
She called out. “Is that you, Gary?”
“Yes, Mom!” I yelled back as I quickly headed towards the stairs.
“Dinner will be ready in ten minutes,” she warned me.
I raced up the stairs and ran into my bathroom. I quickly stripped off my clothes, removing the cum stained underwear and pants I had been wearing. Mom usually does my laundry, but if this keeps up, I’ll have to start washing my own clothes.
After putting on clean underwear and a warm sweat suit, I went downstairs to the kitchen, pulled out a chair and sat down. Mom placed a plate in front of me as she sat the seat across from me.
“How was your first day back, Dear?” She asked concernedly.
“It was good. No problems.” I didn’t want to tell her about the confrontation in the hall. The rest of the day had actually gone well. No one had bothered me. I guess word had gotten around that if you messed with me, you had to mess with Josh, too. It would probably include a visit from Bobby and Carl as well.
“Did you finish your homework?” she asked. It seemed like a pretty innocent question.
Without thinking, I replied, “No, Ma’am.”
“I thought you do your homework over at Todd’s house? What did you do if you didn’t work on your school work?” Another innocent question until my face began to burn a scarlet red! She looked at me and raised an eyebrow when she saw my reaction.
Oh, no! Her motherly instinct kicked in. She knew! She knew I had just had S-E-X! I quickly shoveled spaghetti into my mouth as I attempted to ignore her. I could feel her eyes burning into me. She didn’t say anything else. I guess she knew we had talked about me making my own decisions, and she was going to trust me.
I finished eating and headed up to my room to finish the homework that should have been completed earlier. I was in the middle of my literature assignment when my cell phone rang. I picked it up, expecting Todd to be on the other end. When I looked at the number on the caller ID, my heart stopped.
It was Shaun!
I let the phone ring several times. I hesitated answering it, but I was curious why he was calling.
“Hello?” I quietly answered.
“Gary? This is Shaun.”
“Can we talk?”
“Yeah, what do you want?”
It was getting tense. Both of us were nervous. Shaun’s voice was shaky, and I could hardly form a coherent sentence. My mind was racing.
“Not on the phone. Can you come over? He asked.
I didn’t know how to respond. The last time I had been to his house was disastrous. It was the beginning of all my current problems. He had outed me at school the next day, but then recently he had mysteriously left me alone. After the confrontation at the locker today, I noticed him afterwards, and he appeared sad.
“Sure, give me ten minutes.” I hung up the phone. I had no idea what I was heading into. Maybe he was setting me up. Perhaps, I’d go and some of his buddies would be there to harass the queer. I didn’t know.
I left my room, headed down the stairs and went into the living room. Mom was curled up on the sofa reading a book. She looked up when I entered.
“Shaun called. He wants me to come over,” I said nervously. She looked at me and gave me an inquisitive look. “I’ll be home in a little while.” She didn’t say anything. She just watched as I put on a jacket and left the house.
Shaun’s house was the next block over, so it only took me a couple of minutes to walk. I almost turned around a dozen times. However, my inner voice was telling me to see what he wanted.
I knocked on the door, and his mother answered. She smiled when she saw me standing outside on the porch. “Come in, Gary. Where have you been? It’s been over a week since we last saw you.” She then looked at the cast on my arm.
“My goodness, what happened to you? she asked concernedly.
“It’s a long story,” I responded. “Is Shaun in his room?” I didn’t mean to be rude, but I was too anxious to engage in a conversation with his mother.
“Can‘t you hear his music blasting away? Go on up,” she replied. I walked quietly up the stairs to his room. I hesitated a few minutes before knocking on his door.
“Come in!” I heard him yell from the other side. I opened the door and entered. He was sitting on his bed reading the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. He put the magazine aside when he saw me.
He looked sad. He had the kind of look that make people say, “You look like you’ve lost your best friend.” I guess in this case, he had.
“What up, Pussy?” he asked. I saw his mouth form a hesitant smile. This was the way we had always greeted each other for the past couple of years. It was something that made me feel special because it was reserved for just me. He never addressed anyone else that way.
“You, Bitch.” That was my special reply for him. We had played out this greeting a thousand times. I let a small smile form, too.
“Sit down, Gary.” He seemed extremely nervous as he patted the bed beside him. He was propped up against the wall, exactly like we had been sitting last week.
“You sure?” I asked hesitantly.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he replied. I removed my shoes and climbed onto his bed. I made sure I kept a safe distance between us. To my surprise, he scooted over to me and pushed up against me, resting his leg against mine. My first instinct was to move away, but again my inner voice told me not to. We sat there for a moment without saying anything, just listening to the music blasting from his stereo. After an awkward silence, he spoke.
“Look, Gary. I fucked up, Man. I’m really sorry.” His voice was shaking, and he was fighting hard to keep his composure.
“You’re my best friend. We’ve always been there for each other.” He stopped talking and stared absently at the wall. I knew that this was probably one of the hardest things he had ever done. “I don’t know what to do. There is nothing I can say,” he muttered softly.
“It’s all right, Shaun,” I assured him. “We’ve still got each other.”
“I don’t even know how to ask you to forgive me,” he said sadly.
“You don’t have to.” He looked up into my eyes. Shaun didn’t have to apologize. He was already forgiven. He was my best friend, and that’s what best friends do, they forgive. He was my first real friend, and I was not going to let him go, no matter what he had done to me.
I knew one thing. I would rather tell people ten years from now that Shaun is my best friend, rather than tell them about the best friend I used to have.
I held out my fist. He looked at me and hesitated. Then, he brought his fist up and hit mine. We then hooked our little pinkies together.
“Friends 4ever,” we said in unison. It was our secret bond. We did it every time we made a pledge to one another. When we’d tell each other a secret, we’d do it. It was sacred to us. We would go to our grave with that secret if we had done the fist and pinkie pledge.
We sat quietly beside each other for several minutes. Our legs continued to rub against each other, but this time I didn’t bone up. Shaun was my friend again, my best friend.
After a few moments he broke the silence. “You and Todd together?” he asked. I was stunned for a moment. I guess he had heard the rumors. Since he was my friend, I thought it was best to deal with it honestly. I had hidden the truth from him for so long.
“Yeah, we are. You and Melissa together?” I asked back.
“Yeah,” he replied. We sat quietly again for a few moments. I wasn’t quite sure where our conversation was heading.
“You do it yet?” He looked over at me and grinned.
“Shut up, Bitch,” I giggled.
“You and Melissa do it yet?” I asked. By now we were rolling on the bed laughing.
“I’m not going to tell you, if you don’t tell me,” he laughed.
“Okay. Here’s what we do,” I suggested. “On the count of three, yell out yes or no.”
“One, Two, Three.”
We both shouted, “Yes!”
“Get out of here! When?” He had an amazed look on his face.
“This afternoon.” I began to blush.
“Who was the boy and who was the girl?” He grinned as he made the universal symbol for sex. He poked his finger in a circle he had formed with this other hand.
“Shut up, Fuckface. We haven’t gone that far yet.” I emphasized the word yet. Suddenly, a vision of Todd lying on his bed ‘practicing’ with his carrot jumped in my head. If Shaun saw me blush, he didn’t say anything.
“What did you do?” he asked. I think he found it interesting to think about his best friend with another guy.
“I’m not going to tell you,” I laughed. Then, I pushed my tongue against the side of my mouth several times.
“Aw, man! That’s too much fucking information.” We were both rolling around on the bed laughing. When he looked back over at me, I did it again. We laughed hysterically.
I sat up and looked at Shaun. “So. Is Melissa the first girl you did it with?” Now was my chance to find out what I had wanted to know for years.
“Nope,” he said with a wide grin.
“No shit! How many other girls?” He had really piqued my interest.
“Look over here.” He pointed to some marks on the headboard of his bed. There must have been at least five deep cuts. One of the marks looked fresh. He was keeping a record of the girls he had sex with! I’d be checking that out from now on!
“No shit, Man! You’re a dirty dog!”
“Woof, Woof, Woof” We were rolling around laughing again.
“You using protection?” I asked seriously.
“Hell, yeah! No little puppies for me. I always carry a raincoat,” he replied as he patted his wallet.
“If you ever need anything, see Mom.” I grinned and began laughing. He gave me a look like I had just made the stupidest remark he’d ever heard me say. I laughed even harder. “Long story, dude. I’ll tell you later.”
We sat quietly for a few minutes. Occasionally, we’d look over at each other and giggle. Throughout our conversation, our legs never separated.
Suddenly, Shaun leaned over and kissed me quickly on my cheek. My eyes widened as I stared at him. “What was that for?” I asked as I rubbed the spot he had just kissed.
“You’re my best friend. I love you,” he blushingly stated.
“I’m going to tell my boyfriend you kissed me,” I kidded him.
“So, he’s a little fucker. I could easily take him out,” bragged Shaun.
“Not if he’s with his brother.” Shaun’s smile faded.
“Yeah, right,” he said. We both started laughing.
Then I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, too.”
“I’m going to tell my girlfriend you kissed me,” he said with a wide grin.
“I’ll tell her you kissed me first,” I joked.
We playfully chatted for a long time, renewing an old friendship. Suddenly, I looked at the clock and realized how late it was. I had been in Shaun’s room for over two hours.
“I gotta go, man,” I said as I got off the bed. He looked at the clock and noticed the time.
“Okay,” he frowned. It was obvious he didn’t want me to go. If it had not been a school night, I would have called my mother and just slept over. I began to put on my shoes.
“What are you doing Saturday?” he asked. “Melissa and I are going to the mall in the morning. and then we are catching a movie in the afternoon. You and Todd want to double date?”
“You sure Melissa won’t mind?” I asked skeptically.
“No, she’s cool,” he assured me. That’s why I like her. She won’t care. Besides, she’s already told me she thinks you’re cute.” He acted like he was getting ready to puke.
“Sounds good, then. I’ll ask Todd when he calls tonight,” I replied.
“One thing, though,” he grinned. “Don’t make out in the theater when you’re sitting beside us.” He began to kiss the back of his hand.
“Guess we’ll have to sit behind you then,” I replied. “I don’t want to watch you and Melissa swapping spit either.” I started smooching the back of my hand.
“Later, Dude.” He walked over and embraced me. We held each other for a minute. We then fisted and hooked pinkies. I walked down the stairs with a wide grin on my face and headed home.
As I walked home, the night was crisp and cool. I inhaled deep breaths. It had been a long time since I felt so alive. There was a full moon out, and it illuminated my path ahead.
I was thinking that at birth everyone should be given a big red button. When you experience that one time in your life when everything is just perfect, then you push the button and your life remains frozen in that period of time. This was my time.
I had a boyfriend who loved me. I had a best friend who meant the world to me. I had a loving mother who accepted me unconditionally. I had even acquired a wonderful big brother. Yeah, for just this once, my life seemed almost perfect.
I walked into a quiet house. I guess my mother had already gone to her bedroom. I locked up and headed up to my room. When I entered, I noticed a big red apple and a small card sitting atop my desk. I walked over and opened the card. It read:
For the Apple of My Eye. I Love You. Mom.
I sat down at my desk. Through teary eyes, I opened the control panel on my computer and clicked on desktop background.