I was awake most of the night wondering what Alex had meant. He snored loudly
all night. It certainly didn’t help me get to sleep, either.
“Morning.” He yawned and looked down sleepily at me when he walked into my
room. I noticed his morning wood outlined inside his underwear. He grabbed it
and gave it a few strokes.
“Hey.” I kept looking at his hard cock. He looked at me and smiled.
“Sorry, not this morning,” he spoke to his cock and laughed as he gave it a
couple more strokes. “We’re late for school.” He then walked across the hall to
the restroom. Minutes later I heard the shower running.
I crept into the bathroom and quickly flushed the toilet. “Damn it, Scottie!” I
laughed as I ran back to my room and began dressing.
Fifteen minutes later he walked into the room, dressed for school. He had on a
tight white tee shirt that showed his muscular chest. His jeans were tight on his
body, accenting his firm ass. There was also a very noticeable bulge in front.
“What did you mean last night when you said we have a problem?” I asked. He
looked at me with an expressionless face.
“We need to talk about this later,” he replied. “We don’t have time right now.”
“Alex,” I said sternly. “You can’t drop something on me like this and then tell me
to wait. I didn’t get any sleep last night because of it.”
“I’ll tell you on the way to school then,” he said.
We went downstairs, ate breakfast and then headed out to the barn to do the
morning chores. Alex followed me around watching to make sure I was doing
everything right. I knew that soon I’d be doing it by myself while he slept.
We finished and then went inside to get our book bags. After jumping in the
truck, we headed down the lane and turned onto the main road.
“Ok, now tell me,” I insisted.
“After we dropped you off last night,” Alex started, “we got a twelve pack and
went to the lake. David wanted to talk.” He looked at me like he was finished.
“And?” I asked, not letting him leave me hanging.
“He likes you.” He studied my face for a reaction.
“I like him too,” I told him. “So he is gay?”
“It’s not that easy,” he replied.
“Why?” I was becoming confused. David liked me and I liked him. What was so
complicated about that?
“He thinks Devin likes you too,” he said apprehensively. “We’ve thought for a few
years he might be gay, but until you came along we weren’t sure.”
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“Devin never was interested in girls,” he explained. “And then after the accident,
he shut himself off from everyone. Then you come along.”
I continued to give him a questioning look. I didn’t know how this might indicate
he was gay.
“He hasn’t warmed up to anyone the way he has you,” he said. “He even took his
glasses off and wore his contacts. Then David saw him rubbing his leg against
“About that,” I started to explain.
“No, it’s all right,” he said reassuringly. “Actually, David’s very happy.”
“Now you really have lost me,” I said.
“David loves Devin,” he continued. “He’d do anything to make him happy. It’s
torn him up to see him suffer the way he has the past couple of years. I’ve lost
track of the times he’s cried on my shoulder because he thought he’d never see
Devin laugh again.”
“And now you.” He looked over at me and smiled. “He laughs around you.”
“So what does this all mean?” I asked.
“David really likes you.” He looked over at me. “But he wants you to date Devin.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I looked out the window and watched the trees
flash by as we drove. None of this made much sense.
I couldn’t help feeling like a piece of property that they could just trade off. It
appeared that I had no say in their decision. Alex and David went out and got
drunk, and then they decided that I should be ‘given’ to Devin. My feelings
hadn’t even been considered. What if I didn’t want Devin? What if I wanted to
try and have a relationship with David?
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Where did they come off deciding
what I should do? I looked over at Alex and scowled.
“What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.
“This is so fucked up,” I said angrily. “You and David get drunk and just decide
to give me to Devin.”
“It’s not like that.” Alex seemed astonished. He didn’t even realize what he had
said to me. “We were worried about Devin.”
“And who was worried about me?” His face dropped when he suddenly realized
how hurt I was. “It didn’t matter how I felt?” We pulled into the school parking
lot. I jumped out of the truck before Alex even brought it to a stop.
“Scottie!” he shouted as I exited the car. “Please talk to me about this.” I shot
him a deadly look and then headed into the school.
I passed David in the hall. He started to say something to me, but I brushed
past him without even looking at him. He had his nerve. What if I did like him?
Over the past couple of days, I had started to fall for him. Then I learned he felt
the same way. However, now he didn’t want to be with me because he wanted
me to be with his brother.
I might as well have skipped my morning classes. I couldn’t concentrate on
anything that was being said. I was fuming at Alex and David. I wondered if
Devin had also been involved in this little plot.
Alex was standing outside my third period class when the bell rang dismissing us
for lunch. He threw his arm around me as I walked out, but I reached up and
“Scott,” he said sadly. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t expect you to act this way.”
“Act what way?” I stopped and said loudly. “Like a doll that you can just toss
back and forth to whoever wants it the most?”
“Scott, please.” He reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me from walking
away. I turned and pushed him against the lockers. Everyone around us let out a
gasp. I’m sure they had never seen anyone angry at Mr. Perfect before.
Surprisingly, he reached out and grabbed me, trying to pull me into a hug. I
pushed his arms away and stormed off down the hall. Students in the hallway
opened a path for me.
I walked out of the building, unsure where to go. I didn’t have a car and the
school was miles away from anywhere I could walk. I walked over to the football
stadium and sat down on one of the bleachers.
Ten minutes later I saw Karen, Alex’s girlfriend, walking towards me. She sat
down and handed me a sandwich from the cafeteria. I had forgotten it was lunch
“Thanks,” I said as I opened the sandwich and started eating.
“He’s really sorry,” she said. “He didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know that,” I told her. “They should have talked to me, though.”
“Yes, they should have,” she said staring out across the field. “You’re new here.
You don’t know what they’ve been through with Devin.”
“He’s been just a shell walking around since his mother died,” she said. “He
hasn’t wanted to live. We’ve been so afraid he’d might try and kill himself.”
I looked over and saw tears forming in her eyes.
“When David and Alex saw a thread of hope that he might have a reason to live
again, they grasped it.” Tears were falling down her cheeks. I could tell that she
really loved Alex. She was feeling his suffering.
“I can’t just be a toy for someone to play with.” I tried to explain my feelings.
“They decide to just give me to Devin. I don’t even know yet if I like him. I do
know I like David.”
“They were wrong, Scott.” She grabbed my hand and held it. “Alex realizes that
“So what do I do?” I looked at her for an answer. I still felt animosity for the way
I had been treated. I wasn’t sure I could be so forgiving.
“Hear him out.” She squeezed my hand. “Give him a chance to apologize. He’s
really crazy about you. You’re the younger brother he always wanted. He’s so
happy you’re here.”
We stood and she gave me a hug. I don’t think I’d ever met a girl as loving as
Karen. I was really happy for Alex for having someone so wonderful in his life.
We walked toward the school holding hands. I could see Alex and David looking
out the cafeteria window watching us.
The bell rang as we entered the building. I headed on to geometry class. I saw
Devin’s small body limping slowly down the hall. An immense sadness washed
over me. I remembered what Karen had said about him. I couldn’t imagine the
pain he must have suffered over the past four years. I know I had not had an
easy life, but it was nothing compared to what he had endured.
I watched has he walked into class and took his seat at the table we had shared
the day before. I didn’t know whether to go over and sit with him or sit
somewhere else. He looked up and our eyes met briefly before he looked down at
“Can I sit here?” I asked as I stood before him. I still wasn’t sure if he knew what
Alex and his brother had decided. Perhaps he was against it as much as I was.
“Free world,” he said sadly. I sat down and looked over at him. He seemed so
small and fragile. I could understand why David and Alex were so concerned
about him. There didn’t seem to be any life in him.
The bell rang and Mr. Stanford lectured for about a half hour. He went over the
homework assignment. He asked Devin to work a problem on the board, but he
said he didn’t want to do it. The teacher seemed surprised by his refusal. He
then asked me to do it.
I got up and walked to the board and worked out the problem, explaining the
steps I had taken. Mr. Stanford seemed pleased, but Devin had put his head
down on the desk and refused to watch me. It hurt me that he had not given me
The daily assignment was passed out and I expected Devin to share his book
again with me, but he didn’t. He reached into his book bag and tossed me the
book, and then he put his head back down on the desk.
“Headache?” I asked worriedly. I knew from the day before that he suffered from
migraines. He didn’t answer me. I finished the rest of the class in silence, working
the problems alone. When I was done, I pushed the book back over to him.
“Thanks,” I said. He lifted his head and looked at me. What I saw frightened me.
It was if I were looking into a mirror and there was no reflection. I shuddered
from the steely coldness in his brown eyes.
The bell rang and he got up and walked quietly out of the room. I tried to walk
beside him, but he kept weaving in and out of students as he walked down the
hall. I could tell he was trying to avoid me.
We walked into biology class. Instead of taking his lab seat, he walked over to
Mr. Wiggins and said something to him. Wiggins took out a piece of paper, wrote
something on it and then handed it to Devin. He looked briefly at me and left
class. He never returned the rest of the period.
I was hoping to see him in gym sixth period, but he never showed. I was
becoming increasingly worried about him. I had no idea what was going on inside
his head. By his actions, he must have known about Alex and David’s drinking
binge. I figured David had the same conversation with him that Alex had with me.
Football practice was tense. David did not show, and Alex and I hardly said
anything to one another. I fumbled the ball every time he passed it off to me. By
the time we were through, the team had seemed to lose the energy we had the
day before. Coach Adams seemed disappointed.
I took a quick shower and dressed. I walked out to Alex’s car to wait for him to
come out. Soon he emerged from the gym and walked slowly to the car. We
drove home in silence. Neither of us knew what to say to the other.
He dropped me off at home and then headed to his job at the animal clinic. He
had told me earlier he worked about twenty hours a week helping out Dr.
When I entered the kitchen, Aunt Marie started asking me questions about
school. I gave her short answers, which didn’t seem to please her.
“All right, what’s wrong?” she asked. “I’ve been a mother for almost nineteen
years. I think I know when something is not right.”
“It’s nothing, really.” I tried to leave the room, but she grabbed my arm and led
me over to the couch.
“Spill it.” She gave me a concerned look.
I told her about what had happened over the past twenty four hours. I did leave
out the part about Alex coming home drunk and passing out in my bed.
“What a mess,” she sighed. “You haven’t been here a week and you’re already
having to deal with this. Alex should have known better.”
“Don’t blame him,” I said. “They were just trying to help Devin.”
“Do you know his story?” she asked. I nodded my head.
“Devin has too many problems to deal with,” she said worriedly. “He doesn’t
need to deal with his sexuality too. He hasn’t even dealt with his mother’s death
“I never looked at it that way,” I said. “I was just upset because I thought Alex
and David had tossed me like a piece of meat to him.”
“And they probably did.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “But they didn’t
think they were doing that. They’ve been so focused on Devin’s well being; I
guess they thought they were doing him a favor.”
“So what do I do now?” I asked worriedly.
“Just understand things from David and Alex’s point of view,” she said. “Don’t be
so harsh on them. Do you like David?”
It seemed strange to be talking to Aunt Marie about my feelings for another boy.
“I thought I did,” I replied sadly. “Now I’m not sure.”
“Well, you can deal with David and Alex.” She squeezed my hand again tightly.
“But don’t turn away from Devin. He needs your friendship. You may never want
him as a boyfriend, but at least try to be his friend.”
“I will.” I leaned in and gave Aunt Marie a kiss on the cheek. She reached out and
pulled me into a hug.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” She squeezed me tightly. I was blinking away the tears
that were rapidly forming in my eyes.
I tried to stay up and wait for Alex to come home. I wanted to talk to him about
what happened. I knew the longer I let it bother me, the harder it would be to
deal with it. When he hadn’t arrived home by 11:00, I decided to go to bed.
I had just fallen asleep when I heard my bedroom door open. I opened my eyes
and saw Alex tiptoeing over to my bed in his underwear. I rolled over as he
pulled back the covers and got into bed beside me.
He put his arm around my chest and pulled me into him. I nestled into his
“I’m sorry, Scottie,” he whispered in my ear.
“I know,” I whispered back.
“Forgive me?” I could hear sadness in his voice.
“Yes.” I took his hand and gently kissed it. He let out a deep sigh of relief.
Minutes later we were both sound asleep.
When I awoke the next morning, Alex was doing pushups on the floor.
“What are you doing?” I laughed.
“Getting in shape.” He breathed heavily. “Don’t you remember, today’s Friday?
You make your big debut tonight.”
With everything going on, I had completely forgotten that I would be playing in
my first football game. Suddenly, my stomach knotted up and I thought I was
going to get sick.
“You’ll be great,” Alex assured me. He stood and looked sternly at me. “Now get
down, Olsteen, and give me 50.” I started laughing.
“You got to be kidding,” I said. “I don’t have the energy to crawl out of bed.”
“Then let me help you.” He walked over and grabbed me off the bed like I was as
light as a pillow. He then threw me over his shoulder.
“Let me down, you freak!” I shouted with laughter. I tried to grab the door as we
entered the bathroom. He pulled my hands away, carried me over to the shower
and set me down. I started shouting when he turned on the cold water and
“That will wake you up,” he laughed as he closed the door. I hurriedly turned on
the hot water and pulled off my underwear. Since I was already wet, I went
ahead and took my shower. I also took care of some other business while there.
People in the South take their sports seriously. When we arrived at school, there
were banners everywhere. I had assumed that since our team had a losing
record, most people wouldn’t rally around the team. I was wrong.
We were treated like kings all day. It was the custom for football players to wear
their jerseys on game day. It also seemed like it was the custom for girls to wish
the team good luck with a kiss. I didn’t mind the ones on the cheeks, but several
girls tried to shove their tongues down my throat.
I ran quickly away when I saw Old Lady Grisholm, the school’s elderly librarian,
heading my way with a big grin on her face.
The game was at seven, but the team members were to be in the locker room at
five thirty. We dressed and then met with the coach for our pre-game
instructions. I found out one thing- the team was placing a lot of hope in my
debut appearance. Alex beamed with pride as the other guys praised my
performance at practice all week.
David didn’t say a word to me. Alex had tried to get us together several times,
but neither of us had said anything. I noticed that he was watching me; but
every time I looked over at him, he’d quickly look away.
Fifteen minutes before kickoff, we lined up to head onto the field. I managed to
push my way past everyone and get behind David. Just as Alex let out a yell and
we prepared to run onto the field, I reached down and grabbed David’s ass.
“Good luck.” I grinned as he suddenly turned around. A small smile crept across
“You too.” He ran beside me as we took the field.
I wish I could say we won the game, and that I had played a great game.
However, we did play better than we had over the past couple of years. The
game was actually close until the other team’s offense blew us away in the fourth
I ran the ball over 75 yards. I even ran 22 yards for a touchdown. When I did,
our side was cheering wildly. I guess it had been a while since they had had
anything to shout about.
I became an instant hero. When the game was over, people swarmed into the
locker room congratulating me. A reporter for the town’s newspaper interviewed
me briefly and took my picture. I was overwhelmed by the attention I was
getting. In the past, large crowds and cameras were only around when my
parents were entering the courtroom.
David came over, grabbed my arm, led me into the coach’s office and closed the
door. “Looked like you needed rescued,” he said nervously.
“Thanks,” I said. “I was getting ready to have a major panic attack.” We stood in
awkward silence for a minute.
He finally spoke, “Look, Scott.” He turned and faced me. “I’m really sorry. Alex
told me how you felt. We didn’t mean to hurt you. Honestly.”
“I know,” I replied. “I guess it hurt because you didn’t even want to give us a
“You have no idea how much I want that,” he confessed. “But Devin really likes
you. I couldn’t hurt him like that.”
“I know that now,” I responded. He walked over and pulled me into a hug.
“Damn, I’m a fool.” He mumbled into my ear. I looked him in his eyes, leaned in
and gave him a passionate kiss. His knees started to buckle.
“That’s what you’re missing,” I said as I walked out of the office. I smiled when I
heard him let out another, “Damn, I‘m a fool.”
Chapter 11 Return to TMJ