Do you have any friggin’ idea how hard it is to buy a box of condoms in a town
where everyone knows your mother? I went into three drugstores only to find
that they were behind the counter and I would have to ask for them. Two of the
clerks knew me by name; and at the third drugstore, a girl in my fourth period
was working behind the counter. I ended up leaving buying only a Snickers bar.
I thought of asking Kenny. I knew he always carried a condom in his wallet, ‘for
luck’ he would say. A few times, he had borrowed the keys to my truck during
lunch while he and Alise snuck out and made out. However, if I did ask him, he
would want details. There was already enough pressure on me; I didn’t need him
to be giving me advice on how to do it. Even though I was still a virgin, I was
confident I knew what hole to put it in.
Besides, he would probably find out next week anyway. I’m sure that Rachel
would tell Alise, and Alise would tell Kenny, but make him swear on his
grandmother’s grave that he wouldn’t say anything. I figured it would probably
take him about ten minutes to hunt me down in the hallway and ask me if it was
Then I remembered the bowling alley. The four of us had gone bowling last year.
When I went to the restroom, there was a condom dispenser on the wall. I
remembered looking at it, wondering how much a condom cost out of a machine.
Four quarters. All I needed was four quarters and a reason to go to the
bathroom at the bowling alley.
When I entered, I leisurely walked around and watched people bowl. I then went
over to the concession stand and got a Coke. I didn’t want it to look too obvious
by just walking in and heading directly to the restroom. Everyone would know
what I was there to get. So I sat down and watched a family bowl. The father was
trying to teach his younger son who looked to be about ten. It was amusing to
watch him try to not lose his temper after he’d give detailed directions on how to
roll the bowl down the alley and knock down the ten pins. The kid would listen
intently, nod his head and then roll a gutter ball.
I was enjoying watching them so much, I almost forgot what I was in the bowling
alley to do. I got up, discarded my cup and then walked nonchalantly to the
restroom. My heart was pounding because I was sure someone would come in
and find me putting quarters in the machine.
After walking into the restroom, I knelt down and looked under the stalls to make
sure I was alone. I took eight quarters from my pocket. I wanted to purchase
two, just in case I did enjoy having sex with Rachel. I thought that after a brief
rest I might be able to do it again.
I was able to get two ‘Trojan Extended Pleasure Lubricated’ condoms. I stuffed
them quickly into my pocket before stepping over to the urinal and taking a piss.
Before putting it away, I tried to imagine what it would look like with a thin piece
of rubber over it. As I was walking away from the restroom, I was faced with
another dilemma. I sat down and watched the family bowl again as I wondered if I
would need lubrication. The pack said the condom was already lubricated, but
would it be enough? I had heard guys talk about having trouble penetrating their
girlfriends because they didn’t have lube. Some guys said that spit sometimes
What if the condom out of the machine was old? What if the lubrication had
dried? What if it was so old that it would break open and I would get Rachel
pregnant? Now new worries began to upset me. After such careful planning, what
if I couldn’t prove I could do it because of a defective rubber?
Oh well, I thought. ‘If I can get a hard-on and want to fuck Rachel, then it really
doesn’t matter if we would have to wait. At least I’ll know. Then the next time I
wouldn’t be afraid to borrow one from Kenny.’
It was about one o’clock when I left the bowling alley. As I was driving home, my
cell phone rang. It was Rachel. She wanted to make sure that our ‘date’ was still
on. I could tell by the excitement in her voice that she was eagerly anticipating
what might happen tonight. I hadn’t told her my intentions, but it was the first
time we had been alone in months and I think she knew what I wanted to do.
I was about two blocks from my house when my phone rang again. I thought it
was Rachel reminding me of something, but it was Kenny. “Hey, Fucker,” he
hollered, “Where are you?”
“On my way home,” I answered.
“Cool,” he said. “Since you’re already out, come by the school and get me. I rode
with Jeff, but he had to leave early and I didn’t want to walk home. I’ll be waiting
outside the gym door.” He hung up before I even had a chance to respond.
But that was Kenny. He had done it to me hundreds of times. He always assumed
that since I was his best friend, I would never say no. However, he was always
there for me, too. The only problem was, I hardly ever asked any favors from him.
I slowed down and started to turn around when I pulled up to the school, but
Kenny saw my car and waved. Adrian was standing beside him. He had said ‘me,’
not ‘we.’ I was expecting him to be alone.
When I stopped, Kenny pushed Adrian into the middle seat. Again, he pressed
his leg against mine. Kenny looked over and grinned. “I’m hungry. Let’s go get a
burger or something.” Adrian didn’t say anything. He just looked out the window.
“I’ve already eaten,” I lied. Except for three Snicker bars, I hadn’t eaten anything
Kenny elbowed Adrian. “Then take us to Burger King and watch us eat.” Adrian
glanced quickly at me, but said nothing.
I sighed, put the car into drive and pulled away. Kenny had already made up our
minds. He talked non-stop about the baseball team all the way to the restaurant.
He kept praising Adrian for this ability to catch. Coming from Kenny, that was
quite a compliment.
As he had the last time he rode beside me in my truck, Adrian kept rubbing his
bare leg against mine. And like the last time, my cock got rock hard. I also noticed
that when Kenny stopped talking long enough to look out the window, Adrian
reached down and rearranged his inside his shorts. He looked over to see if I had
noticed. I had.
At the Burger King, we each got a Whopper, large fries and a drink. Kenny led us
to a booth. When I sat down, Adrian scooted in beside me. Kenny immediately
started talking about baseball, but Adrian interrupted him.
“When does track practice begin?” He turned and asked me. When he did, I
noticed his eyes fall to my crotch.
“In two weeks,” I informed him.
“I hope our games and your meets don’t coincide,” he said. “I’d like to see you
“He’s fast,” Kenny said.
“I know,” replied Adrian. He looked into my eyes, “I’ve checked him out.”
I was becoming increasingly upset. Adrian seemed to be hitting on me right in
front of Kenny. If it had been anyone but Kenny, they would have noticed his
glances to my cock and his statement about checking me out. However, as usual,
Kenny was clueless.
“Excuse me,” I stammered nervously as I attempted to scoot out of the booth.
Adrian stood and let me pass. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
I didn’t, but I had to get away from Adrian. It seemed like he was becoming more
brazen than he had in the past. Before, I wasn’t sure what his intentions were,
but today he was making it obvious.
I went into the restroom and splashed water on my face. As I was drying myself
with a paper towel, the door opened and Adrian walked in. He walked over to the
urinal without saying anything, pulled out his cock and started pissing. I looked
into the mirror and could watch what he was doing.
When he finished, he turned and saw me staring at him in the mirror. He took a
step back and tugged at his dark cock. It began to harden in his hand. He looked
at my eyes in the mirror. I couldn’t stop watching what he was doing. Finally, I
looked up. Our eyes met, and we continued to stare. When I dropped my gaze to
his cock, he turned and showed me his cock. It was now about seven inches erect.
I nervously took another paper towel and dried my shaking hands. I glanced out
of the corner of my eye as he stuffed his cock back into his pants, zipped them
up and stepped over beside me.
“Zac,” he whispered softly.
I turned and faced him. Our eyes met, but then anger consumed me. Once again,
he had done it to me. He had taken control of my emotions and made me want
him. He stepped back when he saw the angry expression appear on my face.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized.
“Look, Adrian,” I said angrily. “I’m not interested. I have a girlfriend.”
The tone of his voice became defensive. “You’ve told me that already,” he
responded. “So what. A lot of gay guys cover with girlfriends.”
“I’m not gay,” I insisted as my voice cracked. I could feel tears welling up in my
eyes from anger.
“Oh, really?” he said sarcastically. He leaned his face towards mine, until we were
only inches apart. “Tell me you don’t want me.”
He put his hands on my waist and pulled me even closer. “I want you,” he said
softly as he put his lips only about an inch from mine. “I’ve wanted you since I
first saw you.”
I really wanted him to kiss me. I even closed my eyes waiting for his soft lips to
touch mine. Then it hit me- the wild thoughts, the anger, the guilt. He lost his
balance and almost fell to the floor when I pushed him away.
“I’m not gay!” I shouted angrily. An astonished, hurt look appeared on his face.
Before leaving the bathroom, I turned and muttered, “I’m sorry.”
Kenny gave me a weird look when I sat down. I’m sure I wasn’t able to contain
what I was feeling inside. I was extremely upset. Why did Adrian just assume I
was gay? No one had ever thought of me as being gay. I hadn’t even considered
myself gay until he came into my life.
I think I was more upset with myself than Adrian. When he leaned into me and
tempted me to kiss him- I wanted to. I wanted to kiss every inch of his dark,
muscular body. I wanted to lick him in places that I had never even thought about
I could smell the hamburger on his breath when he whispered, “I want you.” His
eyes twinkled with excitement and his soft, full lips opened for me to kiss him.
And I hated myself because I wanted to kiss him. In a few hours, I would be lying
naked with Rachel, thrusting my cock deep inside her. Instead, I wanted to be
lying on my back with Adrian’s beautiful cock deep in my ass, meeting his thrusts
until we both were satisfied.
“Are you all right?” My eyes focused on Kenny who was sitting looking worriedly
“Yeah,” I said as I reached down and carefully rearranged my stiff cock, straining
against my shorts. Just then, Adrian walked up and sat down. His eyes did a
quick glance to the protrusion inside my shorts before looking up at me.
Kenny leaned back, raised his arms and yawned. “You guys ready to go? I’m
“Sure,” I said as Adrian and I stood. Again, he glanced quickly at my crotch. My
erection had softened somewhat, but there was still a noticeable bulge.
As we drove to his house to drop him off, he sat nearer to Kenny. Not once did
he press his leg against mine. I kept glancing out of the corner of my eye at him,
but he had his head toward Kenny as he looked out the window.
The radio was blaring rock music from a local radio station, so none of us said
anything. Occasionally, Kenny would sing to a song that was playing. When we
dropped Adrian off, he got out without even saying goodbye.
As I pulled away, Kenny turned to me and asked, “Is something going on
between you and Adrian?”
“Why would you ask something stupid like that?” I answered defensively. “I hardly
know the guy.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he said. “It’s just that there’s some
weird vibes when you two are together.”
I drove without looking over at him. “Like I said, I hardly know the guy.” I could
tell out of the corner of my eye that he was staring at me. We rode in silence the
rest of the way to his house. He tried once to get me to tell him why Rachel and I
had changed our minds about going to the movie with him and Alise. I lied and
told him that Rachel’s parents wanted us to do something with them. I had to
remember to tell her to tell Alise the same thing.
I had finished showering and was getting dressed when Billy walked into the
bedroom. He sat on the side of his bed and watched me.
“Big date?” he asked. “You don’t usually wear a tie and jacket unless you’re going
some place special.”
He got up and walked over to me. “Stand still,” he ordered as he straightened out
my striped tie. He pushed down my collar and brushed off my shoulders. He then
stepped back and looked at me. “You clean up nice,” he laughed. “You still haven’t
told me where you’re going.”
“Rachel and I have a dinner date,” I informed him. I saw his eyes wander to my
dresser. The two condoms were sitting on top. He returned to his bed and
“Dinner date, huh?” He rolled on the bed laughing. “And what do you plan to be
eating?” His eyes widened and then he started laughing again. “Ewww,” he
giggled. “I just grossed myself out.”
With a reddened face, I walked over and stuffed the condoms in my jacket
pocket. He watched and then rolled back on the bed laughing. I stepped over to
“If you say a word to Mom and Dad,” I threatened, “I’ll.. I’ll..” He started giggling
uncontrollably. When I turned and walked back over to the mirror and looked at
myself, he got off the bed and stepped up beside me.
“It’s okay, Zac,” he said reassuringly as he put his hand on my shoulder.
“I always figured you and Rachel were already having sex.”
He started giggling when my face turned a bright red. “Shit, Zac,” he squealed.
“Is tonight going to be your first time?”
“Would you shut up!” I admonished him as my face continued to redden.
“You’re a virgin!”
“Well,” I replied, “So are you.” It was now his turn to blush. He started to say
something, but turned quickly and went back and sat on his bed.
I walked over and looked down at him. “You’re not?” He looked up and blushed.
“When have you had a girl? You’ve never been on a date?” He quickly jumped up
from the bed.
“Just forget it,” he said as he pushed me aside and rushed from the room. “I ain’t
been with a girl.”
Suddenly, I realized there was more than one way to lose your virginity.
Rachel looked stunning when I picked her up. Mom let me drive her Buick sedan,
so our date seemed a little more formal than riding in my truck.
“You look beautiful,” I said as she came down the stairs. Her mother was beaming
with pride. For a second, I felt guilty and wanted to turn around and leave. Rachel
was too nice a girl for me to ‘experiment’ with. I could tell by the way she smiled
at me when she approached and kissed me on the cheek that she was totally in
love with me.
We had told her parents that we were meeting Kenny and Alise at a nice
restaurant downtown and then we were going to a movie afterwards. Her mother
kissed us at the door and told us to have a good time. She reminded Rachel that
she and her father might be late coming home and not to wait up for them.
On the way to the restaurant, I told Rachel to tell Alise that we were going out to
dinner with her family. I wanted to make sure that our stories were the same
since I had lied to Kenny.
“Too late,” she said apologetically. “I kind of already told Alise where we were
going. She came over and helped me get dressed. She left minutes before you
I knew I was in trouble. If she and Alise had spent the afternoon together, then
they had also planned the evening. I could just picture them as they giggled
about Rachel having sex with me for the first time. By now Kenny probably knew
that I was about to lose my virginity. If I knew him, he would probably be sitting
on Rachel’s doorstep waiting for me to leave so he could ask me how it was. We’d
made a big deal when he lost his virginity two years ago. Since then, he had been
trying to get me to give up mine. Tonight would be a crowning victory for him.
We went to an expensive steakhouse. I almost choked when I saw the prices. I
told Rachel to order anything she wanted- and she did. She started with a shrimp
cocktail- $19. She then ordered a porterhouse steak, medium rare- $35. I had
prime rib- $39. I thought I would have to do wash dishes in the back room for a
month when the waitress brought me the check. It was $126.32 including
gratuity! I was embarrassed when Rachel had to loan me the twenty-six dollars.
I had only brought a hundred.
My hands shook as we drove back to her house. I almost ran two stop signs
because I was thinking about what about to happen. Rachel found it amusing and
told me to relax. Easy for her to say. All she was going to have to do was lie
back. I was the one who was going to have to do all the work. And the more I
thought about it, the more worried I was becoming that little Zac just might take
this evening to decide to go on strike.
As I drove, I reached over and rubbed the nylon hose Rachel had on. She looked
over and smiled timidly at me as I ran my hand up and down her leg. Nothing. I
didn’t feel anything. I tried to wiggle my cock inside my pants, hoping it would get
hard, but it wouldn’t. I just figured I was concentrating too hard on driving to get
excited. Then I remembered how I had boned up instantly when Adrian rubbed
his leg against mine.
I continued to rub my hand higher up her leg until I was rubbing just below her
panties. She giggled and opened her legs wider for me to get better access.
Again, nothing. I wasn’t getting excited. I was sure that by the time we were lying
naked in her bed I would be hard as steel and ready.
When we got to her house, we looked around to make sure that we were alone.
She grabbed my hand and led me to her bedroom. She knew what we were going
to do. I’m sure she had made plans like I had. She lay on the bed and patted it
for me to lie down beside her.
When I lay back, she looked at me lustfully. She then leaned forward and kissed
me- gently at first, but then her kisses became more passionate. I felt like pulling
away and leaving, but I knew we had passed a point of no return. It was now
something I had to do.
She took my hand and put it inside her blouse. I started to gently rub her tit as
she moaned inside my mouth. “Suck it,” she begged as she moved up and
pushed her tit against my mouth. Her tits weren’t very large, so I was able to get
most of it inside my mouth. She moaned louder as I sucked gently on the erect
Any other guy would have been excited to have a pretty girl’s tit in his mouth,
but I was silently praying that this would end. I didn’t like the feel in my mouth,
and her loud moaning was beginning to disgust me. I jumped when she reached
down and squeezed my shriveled cock inside my pants. She sat up and gave me a
puzzled look. I guess she figured that I should have been rock hard by now.
She got up and walked to the middle of the room. I watched as she began to do
a slow strip for me. I reached down and started rubbing my cock, praying for it to
get hard. It started to harden when she stood naked before me. I looked at her
nude body. She looked amazingly beautiful. Her body was slim and fit. Her hips
were perfectly formed. I thought that she would have made an amazing runner.
Her body tapered down to a trimmed pussy. It looked like she may have shaven it
just for tonight’s occasion. She rubbed it gently as she looked seductively at me.
“I want you, Zac,” she cooed as she came back over to the bed and lay down
beside me. “I’ve wanted you for months.”
She lay on her back and began rubbing her body as I watched. She was sexy and
titillating. The only problem, I wasn’t getting excited. I could feel my cock grow
larger, but it still wouldn’t get erect. I was hoping that by the time I was naked
and ready for penetration, I would be hard.
“Excuse me,” I said as I jumped from the bed. I went into her bathroom and
began to undress. Once naked, I began to stroke my cock, trying to get it to
react. Instead, it seemed to shrivel even more. It looked like my brother Josh’s
dick. If Rachel hadn’t already seen it hard and knew its erect size, I would have
been embarrassed for her to see me.
I covered myself with a towel and went back into her bedroom. She was lying on
her back with her legs spread as she watched me approached. I climbed on the
bed with the towel still wrapped around me. I mounted her and began kissing her
passionately. I was hoping my cock would respond.
She reached under the towel and began to stroke me. I began to harden
somewhat, but I knew it wasn’t hard enough for me to put a condom on. I pulled
the towel away and we kissed while I humped my limp cock against her pussy.
She moaned and spread her legs wider. I could tell she was eagerly waiting to
lose her virginity.
When I couldn’t get an erection, she had me lie on my back. She then leaned
down, took my cock in her mouth, and began sucking it earnestly. I closed my
eyes and did the only thing I could do. I thought of Adrian. I thought of his dark
brown eyes as he stared at me the first time we met. I remembered his naked
body as he undressed in the locker room. I imagined dropping to my knees and
taking his uncut cock into my mouth. I saw him pissing in the urinal and then
turning toward me with his erect cock. I imagined what it would have been like to
kiss his full, soft lips when he leaned into me.
I heard Rachel moaning and looked down and she was sucking my erect cock in
her mouth. She looked up at me and smiled. “Now, Zac,” she moaned lustfully.
“Do it now.” She lay back as I got up with my cock swinging side to side. I went
over to my jacket and took out an Extended Pleasure Lubricated Trojan. I
scanned Rachel’s naked body as she lay with her legs spread, her pussy
beaconing me to enter. As I tore open the wrapper and took out the lubricated
rubber, my cock began to shrivel.
As I continued to watch Rachel rub her pussy seductively, I attempted to pull the
condom over my now limp cock. Rachel got up on her knees and began stroking
me, trying to get me erect once again. Even another attempt at sucking me didn’t
I couldn’t do it. Rachel wasn’t Adrian. I could have closed my eyes again and
pretended I was having sex with him. My cock would have become erect, but I
couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to Rachel. It would be wrong to have sex with her and
pretend I was having sex with someone else. I didn’t want to live my life like that.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. I then turned and hurried into the bathroom. I locked
the door, but Rachel kept knocking and begging me to let her in.
“You’re just nervous,” she cried through the door. “It happens to a lot of guys.
We’ll try again later.”
When I opened the door, she was sitting on the edge of her bed. She was tightly
clutching her bathrobe around her neck. I walked over and stood before her. I
didn’t know what to say. What does one say in this situation? She looked up
tearfully at me.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. Tears of embarrassment filled my eyes. She reached out
to take my hands, but I pulled them away. Blinking away tears, I left. I could hear
her sobbing as I slowly closed her bedroom door.
Chapter 5 Return to TMJ